You! ~ The Sixth Chapter

There is but one problem with being a multiple-book reader: It takes forever to get through a simple, short book! I have been reading several books at one time and today I can say I finally finished this one, which I started reading back in September or October. *blush* Yes, it took entirely too long. Not only that, but there will be one more entry regarding this book before I've finished blogging about it. Please remember the majority of this entry contains direct quotes from Ed Young, the author of the book.

God is waiting for us, His children, to dive into His best for our lives with confidence and assurance. That's the third and final step in rebuilding our self-esteem. Opening up to God's truth and asking him for help are both critical steps, but we also need to move forward into our future with the confidence that God will not abandon us. It's time to take a leap of faith. He's waiting at the end of the diving board saying, "Go for it. You can do it."

"Do not be misled: 'Bad company corrupts good character.'" (1Cor 15:33) If we are serious about repairing our damaged self-esteem, we have to intentionally choose good company. There are people whose divine mission is to help others rebuild their self-esteem. These people live to reaffirm others because of one simple yet profound fact: they know Jesus Christ. [emphasis mine]

The harm to our self-esteem can come from the workplace, a friend, a spouse, or a family member. There are times when we can't just walk away, so what should we do? Refrain from seeing that person as often as usual during the reconstruction period. Once we can recognize the lies about our worth and not accept them as reality, then time with that person won't be as harmful, and we can return to more frequent contact. In the case of a marriage, a spouse may not realize the harm they're doing. If an honest conversation with them about their words and/or actions diminishing our self-worth is ineffective, then working together through the issues with a solid Christian counselor can help build a relationship that is affirming and nurturing for both husband and wife. (Note: While Andy's and my counselor is a Christian, it is not the chief angle of his therapeutic techniques. This worked well for us in that we knew the Christian side of things. What we needed were the proper tools to implement what we already knew.)

Along with avoiding destructive people, we must also develop a team of supporters who will echo words and principles from the Bible, people who reflect the heart and conscience of God. Christianity is not a solo sport. Rebuilding our sense of worth is not a project we can complete on our own. for this process to work, we must strategically surround ourselves with people with whom we can have a real community. (Friday Girls, unite!)

Sometimes we look in the mirror and think I know that God says I matter. And my friends say I matter, that I'm somebody. But I am acting like a nobody. I'm making mistakes, failing. When we fall short of the way God wants us to act we are sabotaging our own self-esteem through our destructive and defiant behavior. As we move toward better behavior, we gain the confidence we need to achieve the kind of life God wants for us. Life is a series of situations in which we have to choose between being ego driven and being Holy Spirit driven. When we choose God's way, we'll feel the sense of accomplishment that comes from obeying the Spirit's promptings. If we are serious about rebuilding our self-esteem, we have to ask ourselves, "How is my behavior affecting the process?"

We need to consider what to do with the gifts, talents, and abilities God has entrusted to us. We need to find and then focus on what God has given us the ability to do and then do it with all our hearts (Col 3:23-24). What we do is not as important as the level of excellence and commitment with which we do it. Too many of us are relaxing when we should be working; slothful when we should be energetic; lazy when we should be moving. We work for the Lord wherever we are. God calls us to serve Him based on our gifts and abilities.

What is your mission in life? Remember, 'What is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.' (2Cor 4:18) One day we will face God and all we've acquired will go up in smoke. None of it will matter; none of it will really give us the esteem and confidence we crave, no matter how much we pile up. Only one thing on this earth is not temporary: people. Each of us is an eternal soul.

Are we investing our lives in people who matter to God? That's why Christ came. People are at the heart of His mission. Until we dive into something bigger than ourselves-the cause of Christ-our self-esteem will remain deficient.

When we commit ourselves to the process of rebuilding our self-esteem - opening up to the truth, asking for help, and diving into God's best for our lives - the transformation will be amazing. We will finally begin to see ourselves the way God sees us.

Tomorrow: A top-ten list of truths from Scripture that show us just how much each individual matters to God.

Goodbye, February!

And with forecasted temperatures near 80 degrees for Thursday, goodbye snow-hopes!

The only thing that would make this cartoon more appropriate is an "Unfair Mom" sign! *giggle*

Smoking Can Kill

So can overly warm weather in the winter.

Friday's Lunch

A distress signal was sent from my desk to my son on Friday afternoon. It was in the form of a phone call, first to the house and then to his cellphone. You see, I found out too late that the cafeteria had been told to prepare bag lunches rather than follow the regular menu. The bag lunches consist of pre-made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, pre-packaged carrots w/dip, and a banana. Can you say, "ew?" I knew you could! Oh, the staff was offered an alternative: three day old spaghetti. Can you say, "no?" I knew you could!

So the distress call went out. Unfortunately, the call went unanswered. I deflated as my level of hunger increased. Then an amazing thing happened! Thirty minutes after my unanswered calls went out, the phone on my desk rang. It was my son! "Mom? You called?" Now just how icredible is that? I quickly explained my dilemma.

Low and behold, a mere 30 minutes after talking to him, Pat sauntered in the front doors of my workplace with a bag from Zaxby's. He knew I'd never been there and thought Friday was the perfect day for me to have my first taste. When I asked him how much I owed him he replied, "Oh, sixty-three cents ought to about cover it." He did not have change on him so I offered him a dollar bill and told him to keep it.

Just how nice was that? I think my son loves me. *blushes*

Why?

Why, all winter long, have the coldest & most potentially snowfall-possible days also been the sunniest? There is something terribly wrong with that!

This cartoon is appropriate. It is indicative of what we have faced during the majority of Winter '06. And to that I say, "BLARGH!"

My Dad Would SO Do This!

Oh, I Did Notice

A few days ago I allowed an anniversary of sorts slip quietly by, seemingly unnoticed. Such was not the case. Actually, I never got around to mentioning it. A few days ago marked the one year anniversary of this particular blog. Some of you know I started blogging on Social Journal, which shut down shortly after I started my online journaling.

I have been musing the reasons behind web logs. Different people have them for different reasons. I tend to agree with Matthew Lilley in that people should keep a written journal. And I do, of sorts. My online journal is a place for me to put my random thoughts to rest so I can sleep or focus on other more needful things. It is my hope that my thoughts and experiences can help others who may be facing the same issues I am. In short, I like to be helpful anyway I can. This is but one avenue.

I tried keeping a written journal but found I often filled it with bitter and angry contemplations which kept me in that very place - one of anger, unforgiveness, and hurt. Therefore, it was not good for me. The fact that my diary is on a public forum keeps me answerable for the words I speak. This is, in my opinion, a good thing.

My written journal tends to be active on Sunday mornings. In it, I place some of my most raw emotions. I also chronicle the notions that pop into my head during praise and worship or other times during the service. Sometimes, they are merely foggy ideas that need development. Other times, they are clear as crystal and serve as wake-up calls. Occasionally the Sunday morning entries make it onto Blogspot.

I am convinced this journal is a positive thing in my life. It helped Andy gain an understanding of my deepest thoughts which are difficult for me to verbalize. Thus, this blog was a tool that helped save our marriage. Inner turmoil has been quieted through the self-expression Blogspot affords me. I have a steady readership of about 15 faithful people. Others come by from time to time. I figure as long as someone else is reading I must be doing something right. Therefore, I plan to stick around for awhile longer.

The Rest of the Story

The comments from my previous post actually hit on more of my thoughts regarding our generations. I did not want to post them immediately because it would have made the entry too long. Additionally, my thoughts tend to run along lengthy threads - one thought leading to others. Putting my musings down in writing helps me to find the end of the thread.

Working in the school system has made me acutely aware of some things. We often use the words "product of their environment." In some cases, this is true. A child can only go as far as the parent is willing to take them. There are a few cases where a child rises above their 'environment' and excels both academically & personally. However, this is a rare occurrence. And what about when that child becomes an adult?

Looking at the generation before mine, I see 'both' kinds of people. Those who made decisions & took responsibility for the consequences and who were subject to things over which they had no control, and those who were subject to things that were beyond their control and have gone through their adult lives using it as an excuse to get away with things that really shouldn't be swept under the rug.

I really like what Chet said. As people we are enablers. We make it easy for people (including ourselves) to shift blame or hide from our responsibilities. It really doesn't help anything. In fact, being an enabler of this sort is merely perpetuating the problem.

As a parent I know I've done that. I've spent many hours smoothing things over and trying to make things easier/better for my children. It is like running around behind them with a pillow so that when they fall, they have a soft landing. I have gone to teachers, bosses, individuals, and even whole groups in an attempt to make life easier or to 'help' people 'understand' my children. Andy has admitted to doing the same thing. That is our mistake. We did not allow our children to take full responsibility for their actions. Instead, we softened the blows. Perhaps we were more concernd with their self-esteem than we should have been. At any rate, our well-meaning intentions appear to have accomplished what other people's intentions have: We, to include our generation, are now dealing with young adults who spit in the face of authority - any authority - and who constantly live in an uproar of their own making while refusing to accept responsibility for their actions; the same as generations before, but I think to a larger degree. At what age do we stop making excuses for them? When is enough enough?

I said all that to say this: When I said it is time to wake up, I was talking to all of us.

I Have a Real Problem With This...

When I was a young adult, the music I listened to may have been considered "rebellious" in nature. One of my favorites was and still is John Mellencamp's "Authority Song." Some of the lyrics are:

When I fight authority, authority always wins.
When I fight authority authority always wins.
Well, I've been doin it since I was a young kid and I've come out grinnin'.
Yeah, I fight authority, authority always wins.
So I call up my preacher
I say: gimme strength for round 5
He said: you don’t need no strength, you need to grow up, son
I said: growing up leads to growing old and then to dying,
And dying to me don’t sound like all that much fun.

Okay - so Mellencamp and the young adults of my generation had a good time being "rebellious", but did not blame others for the consequences. Yeah, I fight authority. Yeah, I get in trouble for it, but it is worth it. I say that is a fair assessment. Decisions = Consequences, good or bad. Do what you want as long as you are willing to accept said consequences. Cool. Now check out the lyrics from a more contemporary group:

In the dark with the music on
Wishing I was somewhere else
Taking all your anger out on me, somebody help
I would rather rot alone
Then spend a minute with you
I'm gone, I'm gone
And you can't stop me from falling apart
'Cause my self-destruction is all your fault
How could you, how could you, how could you hate me?
When all I ever wanted to be was you?
How could you, how could you, how could you love me?
When all you ever gave me were open wounds?

Does anyone see the same thing I see? "I make my choices but everything I feel & experience is someone else's fault." Nowhere in the song is it mentioned that the poor, suffering soul has done the very thing they are accusing others of doing. How could you love me? How could you hate me? You hurt me hurt me hurt me...and nothing about the hurt that person has inevitably caused someone else somewhere.

I see two truths here: The 'current' generation is listening to this crap and learning to become a bunch of whiny, blame-throwing pseudo-victims rather than taking responsibility for their actions. Secondly, people hurt people. Sometimes on purpose, and sometimes without trying to. Sometimes, we ask for the hurt we experience because of our words, actions, deeds, or lack thereof. The key here is to take responsibility and forgive. People need each other. We spend entirely too much time blaming, hating, and being angry instead of working toward the common good.

It is past time for us to wake up.

A Picture is Worth...

A Snowy Day

What title would you give this cartoon?

"Don't Mess With Me, Man?"

"Snowman's Revenge?"

I'm not sure. What I do know is this:

That is one ticked off snowman!







This one is easy to title!


The Animal Olympics


Biathalon

Happy Friday!

Running Out of Time!

Posting snow pictures after February is probably considered uncouth in some cultures. Therefore, I will shamelessly plug my desire for snow from now until the first of March. Thanks to The SewDoc, I have lots of new cartoons! You might even find two a day until fate, also known as Spring, deals its final, dreadful blow.

In honor of the Olympic games:

Hut on Fire

I just received this in an email. There was a piece of advice at the bottom of the email. I decided to take it.

HUT ON FIRE

The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him, and every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming. Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect himself from the elements, and to store his few possessions.

One day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little
hut in flames, with smoke rolling up to the sky. The worst had happened and everything was lost. He was stunned with disbelief, grief, and anger. "God, how could you do this to me?" he cried.

Early the next day he was awakened by the sound of a ship that was approaching the island. It had come to rescue him. "How did you know I was here?" Asked the weary man of his rescuers. "We saw your smoke signal," they replied.

It is easy to get discouraged when things are going badly, but we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of pain and suffering. Remember that the next time your little hut seems to be burning to the ground. It just may be a smoke signal that summons the grace of God.

You may want to consider passing this on, because you never know who might feel like their hut is on fire today.

Ah, Nuts!

Rather than a cake, Andy wanted brownies for his birthday. While at the grocery store this past Saturday he picked out a mix that included pecans. Stop. How did you read that word, "Pecans?" And how do you pronounce it?


This query has little or nothing to do with whether or not you pronounce potato as "potahto" or tomato as "tomahto." Let us be honest. Do any of us know an American who pronounces those two words with the "ah" naturally?

"Pecan", however, is a nut of a different color. There is an ongoing debate in my house regarding the correct way to say the word. Do you say "Pee-can" or "Peh-cahn"? Or do you mix things up by saying "pee-cahn" or "peh-can?"

This is but one dilemma of the many we face on a daily basis. How to resolve this peacefully? These are the only solutions I can offer: (1) Dictionary.com mentions the "peh-cahn" pronounciation first. We should listen to Dictionary.com! (2)When in doubt, the woman is always right!

Another Snow Cartoon...

...compliments of Ben's Mom.

Thanks, Carolyn!!

My Word for Today

Colossians 3 - NLT

Living the New Life

1-4: Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits at God's right hand in the place of honor and power. Let heaven fill your thoughts. Do not think only about things down here on earth. For you died when Christ died, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. And when Christ, who is your real life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory.

5-11: So put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with sexual sin, impurity, lust, and shameful desires. Don't be greedy for the good things of this life, for that is idolatry. God's terrible anger will come upon those who do such things. You used to do them when your life was still part of this world. But now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language. Don't lie to each other, for you have stripped off your old evil nature and all its wicked deeds. In its place you have clothed yourselves with a brand-new nature that is continually being renewed as you learn more and more about Christ, who created this new nature within you. In this new life, it doesn't matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbaric, uncivilized, slave, or free. Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us.

12-15: Since God chose you to be the holy people whom he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. You must make allowance for each other's faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. And the most important piece of clothing you must wear is love. Love is what binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are all called to live in peace. And always be thankful.

16-17: Let the words of Christ, in all their richness, live in your hearts and make you wise. Use his words to teach and counsel each other. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. And whatever you do or say, let it be as a representative of the Lord Jesus, all the while giving thanks through him to God the Father.

Mary Sunshine

Mary Sunshine hides her face
Behind the glory behind the grace
The tears that fall no one will see
For they are reserved for she




She hides a face that noone knows
She vows to never let it show
And yet there is a place to go
Beyond this time beyond this space



A place of prayer, a place of love
Shining from our God above
For when we think He does not hear
It shows that He is very near.



Remember how we fight unseen
Principalities and other things
We do not know, we do not see
The things He has in store for she




For Mary Sunshine pain seems fierce
How can she manage? Will it pierce?
For in her heart she knows what's true
and yet she feels she's broken in two




But time will come with peace and love
Not from without but from above
A peace, a love from deep within
A peace that never more will end





For Mary Sunshine, there is a place
Where God will come and show His face
For though she cannot see or hear
Her God is very, very near

~Janis Crane

21 Feb 06

Happy Birthday!

It's your special day...
Happy Birthday!
I love you, Baby.
I'm sorry the weather is icky on your day.
You may not see today as anything special, but I do...
it's the day you were born...
the day you came to this earth to be my honey!

Would I be Pressing My Luck...

If I said, "Please, Sir. May I have some more?"


The print on the left is Andy's first step into the snow-type stuff to which we awoke this morning. On the right you see the hiking boot I purchased for my trip to Utah that turned out to be disappointingly un-snowy. Ah, well. I wore them today! :o)




Liriope on the left, cars (duh!) on the right. I suppose one could consider this event a dusting, and it did stick for a little while. Not quite what I had in mind for a snowfall, but beggars really can't be choosers, can they?

Going outside to feed the birds when it snows is a ritual for me. Today was no exception. However, I was greeted by 2 of our resident squirrels instead of birds. There were several doves in the other maple and a few raspberry finches waiting by the thistle feeder, but I had to take these shots, first.


I would not be honest if I said this little ditty bop of a snow was enough for me. I truly would like more. Too much to ask? Perhaps. In the words of Queen Anne when talking to the Lady Constance regarding Constance's love for D'Artanian: "We must never give up hope."

Forecasted!

Andy and I have taken tomorrow off from work because it is no, not President's Day - well, it is President's Day - but it is also Andy's birthday! I had planned to take down all of my snowman decorations and pack them away, but I think perhaps delaying that plan is in order. Have you all seen the weather forecast??

The forecast is a partial bummer because we plan to go out for breakfast in the morning. We may still, depending on what the roads are like when we wake up. I think it'll be okay to go. Hey, I knew there had to be some sort of perk for marrying a boy from Indiana!

Staying inside due to weather is definitely not how Andy wants to spend his birthday, but I will do my best to make it a happy day for him. He has requested brownies rather than cake, and I plan to put on a pot of beef stew. Great timing!!

Happy snowfall, y'all!

Missing Migraines

A commercial for an over-the-counter migraine medication came on tv a little while ago. Strange. I used to have them regularly. Fifteen years ago I could set my calendar and watch by them. Tuesdays, 7:30pm. I have several migraine triggers, one of which is heavy scents. What I found strange is that there haven't been any migraines since October, and that one wasn't as bad or as long lasting as most I have experienced. So what has changed? A lot of possibilities have crossed my mind, but I'm curious as to what you, my dear readers, think.

As a side note, my last post regarding my desire for snow prompted more comments than any other post to date. In my crazy, mixed up world, I see something seriously wrong with that!!

This Would be Nice..

However, I could be happy with something on a smaller scale. Maybe even much smaller.

Does Anyone Else Find This Weird?

So Andy and I are sitting in our counseling session yesterday and the therapist says, "So where would you rate your relationship now, on a scale from 1-10, with 10 being the best?" There was a moment of awkward silence. Then I gazed at Andy and said, "You, first!" (ain't I a stinker?) He quickly replied, "Oh, an 8 or a 9." The therapist turned his attention to me. "I was going to say an 8.5," I admitted. Much to my surprise, our counselor sat back and smiled. "I was thinking the same."

Up to this point I have been under the impression that he was not aware of how much progress Andy and I have made on our own. It is really amazing what honest conversation will do when taken exactly the way it is said without being defensive or looking for the worst.

Anyway, it appears we're all on the same page. Maybe this is one reason why Andy and I are now seeing our counselor just once per month rather than every two weeks. We are considering moving into a "will call" status as soon as a few more wrinkles are ironed out.

*Happy Sigh* It may be strange that three people view a situation in the same way, but in this case it feels pretty darned good.

Starting Your Day Right..

..is the title of the devotional I have picked up for this year. It is written by Joyce Meyer. She is usually a hard-hitter but this book has been gentle by her standards. Anyway, this is the reading for today:

Receive Mercy

All the paths of the Lord are mercy and steadfast love, even truth and faithfulness are they for those who keep His covenant and His testimonies. Psalm 25:10

The Israelites were lost in the wilderness because they didn't believe that their problems were their own fault. They blamed Moses, God, and everybody else for their sorrows. They refused to take responsibility for their sins, and their unwillingness to repent kept them from entering the promised land.

When you talk with God, be sure to ask for forgiveness. "If we [freely] admit that we have sinned and confess our sins, He is faithful and just (true to His own nature and promises) and will forgive our sins [dismiss our lawlessness] and [continuously] cleanse us from all unrighteousness [everything not in conformity to His will in purpose, thought, and action]." 1John 1:9, Amplified. Repent in the morning to enjoy God's mercy forgivenes, and love all day.

If nothing else, we will feel as though we can approach God in an instant throughout our day, no matter what happens. Just thought I'd post this to help us all remember that we are His kids and He loves us.