You! ~ The Sixth Chapter

There is but one problem with being a multiple-book reader: It takes forever to get through a simple, short book! I have been reading several books at one time and today I can say I finally finished this one, which I started reading back in September or October. *blush* Yes, it took entirely too long. Not only that, but there will be one more entry regarding this book before I've finished blogging about it. Please remember the majority of this entry contains direct quotes from Ed Young, the author of the book.

God is waiting for us, His children, to dive into His best for our lives with confidence and assurance. That's the third and final step in rebuilding our self-esteem. Opening up to God's truth and asking him for help are both critical steps, but we also need to move forward into our future with the confidence that God will not abandon us. It's time to take a leap of faith. He's waiting at the end of the diving board saying, "Go for it. You can do it."

"Do not be misled: 'Bad company corrupts good character.'" (1Cor 15:33) If we are serious about repairing our damaged self-esteem, we have to intentionally choose good company. There are people whose divine mission is to help others rebuild their self-esteem. These people live to reaffirm others because of one simple yet profound fact: they know Jesus Christ. [emphasis mine]

The harm to our self-esteem can come from the workplace, a friend, a spouse, or a family member. There are times when we can't just walk away, so what should we do? Refrain from seeing that person as often as usual during the reconstruction period. Once we can recognize the lies about our worth and not accept them as reality, then time with that person won't be as harmful, and we can return to more frequent contact. In the case of a marriage, a spouse may not realize the harm they're doing. If an honest conversation with them about their words and/or actions diminishing our self-worth is ineffective, then working together through the issues with a solid Christian counselor can help build a relationship that is affirming and nurturing for both husband and wife. (Note: While Andy's and my counselor is a Christian, it is not the chief angle of his therapeutic techniques. This worked well for us in that we knew the Christian side of things. What we needed were the proper tools to implement what we already knew.)

Along with avoiding destructive people, we must also develop a team of supporters who will echo words and principles from the Bible, people who reflect the heart and conscience of God. Christianity is not a solo sport. Rebuilding our sense of worth is not a project we can complete on our own. for this process to work, we must strategically surround ourselves with people with whom we can have a real community. (Friday Girls, unite!)

Sometimes we look in the mirror and think I know that God says I matter. And my friends say I matter, that I'm somebody. But I am acting like a nobody. I'm making mistakes, failing. When we fall short of the way God wants us to act we are sabotaging our own self-esteem through our destructive and defiant behavior. As we move toward better behavior, we gain the confidence we need to achieve the kind of life God wants for us. Life is a series of situations in which we have to choose between being ego driven and being Holy Spirit driven. When we choose God's way, we'll feel the sense of accomplishment that comes from obeying the Spirit's promptings. If we are serious about rebuilding our self-esteem, we have to ask ourselves, "How is my behavior affecting the process?"

We need to consider what to do with the gifts, talents, and abilities God has entrusted to us. We need to find and then focus on what God has given us the ability to do and then do it with all our hearts (Col 3:23-24). What we do is not as important as the level of excellence and commitment with which we do it. Too many of us are relaxing when we should be working; slothful when we should be energetic; lazy when we should be moving. We work for the Lord wherever we are. God calls us to serve Him based on our gifts and abilities.

What is your mission in life? Remember, 'What is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.' (2Cor 4:18) One day we will face God and all we've acquired will go up in smoke. None of it will matter; none of it will really give us the esteem and confidence we crave, no matter how much we pile up. Only one thing on this earth is not temporary: people. Each of us is an eternal soul.

Are we investing our lives in people who matter to God? That's why Christ came. People are at the heart of His mission. Until we dive into something bigger than ourselves-the cause of Christ-our self-esteem will remain deficient.

When we commit ourselves to the process of rebuilding our self-esteem - opening up to the truth, asking for help, and diving into God's best for our lives - the transformation will be amazing. We will finally begin to see ourselves the way God sees us.

Tomorrow: A top-ten list of truths from Scripture that show us just how much each individual matters to God.