FYI

This is my boss. She is known (by persons other than herself) by many nicknames, one of which is "IsaWitch."

I have worked with/for IsaWitch for many years. She wasn't all that horrible for me to work for in the years prior to my being an office employee, but how things have changed, Oh My!

She doesn't let me do my job. I am not paid to think, answer questions, or be supportive to any other staff member. I am to do only as she tells me, when she tells me, and nothing more. Well, that must be an accurate statement. She has told others that I am 'just a secretary' and should not be asked any questions whatsoever. The only problem with this is that SHE cannot answer the questions that are being asked. This creates a vicious cyclone. There are many of them in my workplace these days.

This is me. (Okay, so I should be holding a cat rather than a scruffy looking dog.) Every morning, I go into work hopeful that the day will bring improvements. Life is an adventure, after all, and one really should face it optimistically.

Of course, my hopes are often dashed and my frustration becomes evident. I even start to take on a greenish cast to my face and wonder if one day I will look like HER. Not possible, you might exclaim! Ah my dear ones, give it time. Even poppies won't get me out of the mess I'm in - unless someone comes along and tosses water on HER...or drops a house on her head.

Nearly every day I am called into HER presence so she can everso patiently explain to me (again) that I am a brainless robot. I must not express opinions. I must clear everything with HER before acting on anything.

Do you see the pleading expression on my face? I try to explain - even beg her to let me do my job. All to no avail.

It would be a sad, sad state of affairs and I would despair completely but for my ruby slippers. They have the power to make her own words and adamantly explained instructions come back to haunt HER. Repeatedly. The magical sparkly slippers have found a way to keep HER very busy all day long so she can't come by and blow her hot air all over my beautiful red curly hair. Thus, it stays curly and I remain hopeful for yet another day.

Kansas may be more predictable. It may even be a nicer place. But it isn't as fun as Oz. In Oz, a person can get theirs without being suspected of doing a thing. It is just a matter of one's perspective. Nothing more.

Rant about Randall

CBS News correspondent Randall Pinkston just ticked me off. I already have a huge dislike for the way the news media sensationalizes things. And we think the drama in and around our own lives is excessive!

Pinkston was talking about the fuel shortage in Louisiana and Texas. Long lines at gas stations and irate patrons were shown and commiserated with: "Oh I know, you poor baby," [insert meaningless pat on the back,] "that big bad president is just a mean old man." The scenes were punctuated by Pinkston saying something like this: After the President has asked people to cut down on unnecessary travel, George W. Bush has burned 22,000 gallons of jet fuel in the past 3 days. Pinkston further remarked that Bush has been to Louisiana 7 times in the past three weeks. Well, duh! I guess Pinkston believes fuel is better wasted by the working class schmuck. (And that's me, folks)

This poor guy can't win!! First, he's railed on by all kinds of groups stating that the country's response to Katrina, in a nutshell, sucked. That Bush didn't care. That his environmental policies were the cause of so much death and destruction.

Now that the man is trying to take a hands-on approach, Pinkston whines about gas consumption. I think that is just plain moronic. What's the matter, Randy? Slow day in the newsroom? There's a whole lot more going on in the world without you making it seem like Bush is a horrible, wasteful fuel hog rather than a man simply doing his job. Wake up, Pinkston. Nobody can have it both ways.

As far as I'm concerned, our Commander in Chief can have my share.

Weekend Update

Hi.

If I had to come up with a short description for my weekend, the word would simply have to be bummer. You already know about Charlie. I wrote about him yesterday. *sigh* There is more, though...

This weekend, one of my more important relationships took a major hit. Granted, the hit has been building for the past several weeks. That fact does not diminish the pain & hardship of it. I try to think about where it will go from here, but the emotions are still too raw & fresh to spend much time dwelling on it.


I took some long looks at myself in the mirror. They were hard looks. I did not like what I saw. Being in therapy tends to do that to a person ~ create those long looks, I mean. How much can I change? How much do I want to? Do I even have the strength to do it?





Rush went to sleep today. Permanently. I don't know how much more to write about this except to say the vet was very nice and confirmed our decision was the right one. I'm sad.



I feel overwhelmed. I feel bruised and very tired. The past few days have been very rough for me, and the beat-up feeling is evident on my face.


Tonight, for the first time since moving into my own place, I ate dinner on the couch in front of the tv.


I had grandiose plans to get some work done tonight. I actually brought some home with me. And there is always eBay..I'm constantly listing and/or relisting....but I think I'll be vegging on the couch instead, flipping between the football game and The Two Towers while working my jigsaw puzzle and/or reading Narnia.

Bummer does describe the past few days. However, Total Bummer does not. There were a few good moments.



There was a fun 2 hour foray to University Commons that started with a sandwich at Schlotsky's and ended with coffee and a few purchases at Barnes and Nobles.







Andy and I had great conversation and a couple of nice strolls. It is nice to be able to be friends and talk again. It has been a long time. Too long.





There was a family gathering/housewarming at Shannon & Shepard's apartment. It was a good time. The best part was seeing Shannon so happy. She also seemed quite relaxed & comfortable. I'm very proud of her.



This week has to be better than last, doesn't it? And this weekend I know for a fact will go much better than last weekend. More on that later.

I was hoping this entry would make me feel better. I think I'll go to the couch now. Aslan is over there.

Mercy

My neighbor, Charlie Smith, died on Friday from complications following a motorcycle accident. Charlie was one of those "good guys." You know the type: always throwing parties & inviting folks from all over, going out of his way to help, and strolling across the street to talk to Andy whenever they were both outside at the same time. I sat still on the couch as I read his obituary in the paper today. Stunned is a good word to use. Charlie was so full of life. And as previously stated, he was a good guy.

After reading about Charlie's death, Andy and I walked around the neighborhood for a few minutes. He took it really hard. Andy wondered aloud about the justice in this world - that great guys like Charlie would die too soon, while scoundrels and the like lived good long lives.

I was reminded of Jenny's blog entry, ironically posted on Friday. In it, she mentions the mercy of God showing through the disasters following hurricanes Katrina and Rita. While I may not agree with her thoughts regarding the judgment of God, I do agree with the ones about mercy.

Charlie was 65 years old. He had bad knees, a bad back, and some minor heart trouble. He was retired and getting slightly bored, I think. He was a member of Greenville Church of God, and I know in my heart he knew Christ. Is it so awful that he is now out of pain and home at last? Couldn't that be seen as the mercy of God?

A person might think about Charlie's wife and his family which includes seven grandchildren. It is a good thing Charlie had such a large family. His wife will not be left alone, nor will she be completely lonely. Andy and I have already seen evidence of a large support network for this shy & quiet woman. The fact that she also knows Christ is good - He will comfort her, as well. God will use family members, church friends, and who knows? Maybe even His angels to comfort Cecilia.

You may still have questions concerning the scalawags of the world: they cause trouble, pain, and heartache for the rest of us. Yet, they continue in their lives, seemingly untouched by the negative circumstances that seem to constantly surround those of us who believe. This too, in my mind, is God's mercy. He is continuing to let them live - and I can see Him knocking ... knocking..knocking on the doors of their hearts, giving them chance after chance to acknowledge Him as Lord. Were we any better before we knew Him and accepted His free gift?

Yes, I can see mercy in this situation. Charlie is pain free and knows no sorrow. Cecilia will experience the love of Christ in new ways. And the cads of the world will continue to be wooed by God.

In some strange way, it all makes sense to me.

Under Pressure

Pressure pushing down on me
Pressing down on you no man ask for
Under pressure
That burns a building down
Splits a family in two
Puts people on streets

It's the terror of knowing
What this world is about
Watching some good friends
Screaming let me out!
Pray tomorrow takes me higher
Pressure on people
People on streets

Chippin' around
kick my brains round the floor
These are the days
It never rains but it pours

Turned away from it all
Like a blind man
Sat on a fence but it don't work
Keep coming up with love
But it's so slashed and torn
Why why why?
Love love love love love

Insanity laughs under pressure we're cracking
Why Can't we give ourselves one more chance?
Why can't we give love that one more chance?
Why can't we give love give love give love?
Give love give love give love give love give love give love?
Cause love's such an old fashioned word
And love dares you to care
For the people on the edge of the night
And love dares you to change our way
Of caring about ourselves

This is our last dance
This is our last dance
This is ourselves
Under Pressure
Under Pressure
Pressure

Afoot?

Ben posted a short blog entry today. In it, he stated he thinks something is afoot. I must agree, even though I don't know what he's talking about!

Strange things are happening, to be sure. I think I'm hearing God talk to me again. It is coming in short phrases and sometimes in single words. I realize He never stopped talking to me. I take full responsibility for putting my fingers in my ears and shouting "la, la, la."

Here are a couple of examples:

Shannon and Shepard went out apartment hunting. They've moved into Village Green, but the way it all worked out; loopholes in leases, the availability of this particular unit, and how smoothly the whole move went are but a few workings in this situation. And since I have the space beside this picture, I will also add that things are working out extremely well for Shannon right now.


Back to Ben: He has been struggling with a 'permanent, incurable' hearing disorder for over a year. He has made a conscious decision to seek out his healing. When the hearing difficulties first cropped up, Ben believed God could heal him. He believed God wanted to heal him. But he didn't do anything about it. Something in Ben has come alive and he has decided to take an active role in his healing, doing what he believes is his part; all with positive results! I think it's just so awesome and I'm continuing to pray for him...even with the word I think I heard today ~ I know Ben reads my blog regularly (thanks, Ben!). He may suspect something because of an email I sent to him today. Ben, if you 'trust' my ears and want to know more, you know how to find me. Still, my faith is being strengthened by what Ben is exhibiting and experiencing. So thanks again, Ben!

I am still waiting to see what happens with this one: Last night I was going up the stairs heading back to my apartment when I noticed a dollar bill folded up and laying on one of the steps. Nobody was home upstairs at the time - not in any of the other units even, but there it was. I picked it up. My first thought honestly was, "I wonder who is going to need this dollar that I'll give away?" No one has come across my path yet. I'll keep waiting.

Oh yeah! The hard drive in Shannon's laptop fried. Now, remember she has just forked over big bunches of money in order to get settled into her own apartment. She really didn't have the money for a hard drive, but needs her laptop for school. Andy went to Best Buy and found this Seagate 60gig piece of electronic wonder. The thing is, Best Buy doesn't usually keep these things in stock. Andy got the last one. And Best Buy is running a special deal on them that started Sunday (We bought Shannon's on Monday, remember..and it was the last hard drive in stock) and runs for this week only. There is a $50 rebate. Shannon paid a fraction of Best Buy's going price. Well I'd say Someone is looking out for her! (And I don't mean her Daddy, either. Well I do, but I'm not referring to Andy.)

And now for the incident I think is strangest of all: While at work this morning I could not get the desire for a cup of coffee out of my system! I was considering using the cafeteria's microwave in order to "brew" a coffee single because I wanted java so badly. Then, Andy walked into the office with a mug of Starbucks in his hand. He said he just had a sudden, undeniable thought to leave his work and buy a cup of coffee for me. Sure, he got one for himself too, but still...he left work, drove to Starbucks, and brought a venti to me. Sweet. Very sweet. (Not the coffee, the gesture!) But also very strange. Weird, even.


I have to agree with Ben. Something is afoot. It is intriguing and exciting. I know I for one will be keeping my eyes open.

What to Blog?

I have several blog subjects running around in my head. They keep crashing into each other and making me wince. It is painful! I am considering typing the thoughts elsewhere..like in Word (go figure)...working on them as one particular subject comes to the forefront. As they are finished, I will post them. I just have no idea which will come first!

Bear with me ~ I am still around and my thoughts are still running as amok as ever. (Hey Ben? Was that correct grammar?)

I shall return. With a gen-yoo-wine entry!

When Love Isn't Enough...

Quite awhile ago I posted the thought that sometimes love isn't enough to happily maintain a long-lasting relationship. It goes without saying (but I am going to say it anyway) that I am not referring to the love of God, which is perfect. I may question the way He shows His love, but I know His love for us is the best thing going.

If humans could be perfect, then love would be perfectly acted upon. I know a lot of people who desperately love their significants, but unhappiness in relationships abounds.

If a person does not possess the skills to listen in the manner that best suits the "other" - or if one cannot verbally communicate in a way that the other can comprehend/accept, then loving the person won't be enough to maintain a happy relationship. There are other factors as well, but communications skills seems to be one of the biggest sticking points in relationships. Granted, true love would mean the poor listener would seek out how to do it better, as would the poor verbalizer.

This is why I say "just" loving someone isn't enough. Relationships take constant work and awareness on the parts of both individuals. Would you be happy if there were something going on in your relationship that bothered you, and after speaking to your significant they just said, "Oh well, I can't really do anything about that but I love you!" Can you honestly say you would be happy? I do not think so. Especially if your significant could indeed alter the behavior in order to make things run more smoothly. A couple who will not give, take, and bend with each other is not going to succeed. They may stay together for the sake of the children, religious beliefs, convenience, or whatever, but staying together is not synonymous with success.

There are some red flags to watch out for when it comes to choosing a partner. Take for example the person who has experienced a failed relationship and staunchly maintains it was all the other person's doing; that they themselves had nothing to do with the failure. I have a very difficult time wrapping my mind around that one. It takes two to make or break a relationship. It may be that the person was left with no options at the time of the break up, but what happened prior that made the other want to leave? Rarely are the reasons superficial.

That being said, I must also state that it is unfair (and yes, wrong) to end a relationship without talking about the reasons behind the break up. How can people progress in the art of being a couple if they have nothing from which to learn? I will even go so far as to say that once the reasons are stated, it is only fair to give the person a chance to "right" whatever "wrong" has been committed. By the same token, it is only fair that while one is working on their shortcomings the other should work on their own. Human love is not perfect, and people are even less so. Everyone has something on which they can improve when it comes to relationships.

Some people do not believe that life is fair. That belief is true in certain cases. However, for the most part life can be as fair as we make it; for ourselves and others. I fervently wish love could be enough in any situation. It just isn't. Does God say, "I love my children," and then leave us to our own devices or does He actively work in our lives?

Why then should our love for the ones we have relationships with be inactive and passive?

Does This Make Sense?

I have seen the following quote on several church billboards recently:

The best vitamin for a Christian is B1.

Forgive me for asking, but if a person is already a Christian, don't they already have "1?" In actuality, shouldn't the blurb read:

"When it comes to Christianity, the best vitamin for a person is B1."

When done correctly, the little saying loses its pop, does it not? Not that it had pop to begin with...

Things like that bother me.

Am I petty?

A Quick Post About The Open

I am so behind on my US Open comments! A whole week has gone by and this is my very first post. That is nearly unforgiveable. Thankfully, there is grace for every situation in our lives!

Fast predictions for the women's side, quarterfinals:

1. Sharapova over Petrova
2. Davenport over Dementieva
3. Mauresmo over Pierce
4. And... Clijsters over Venus

Men's picks forthcoming.

Reserving the Right to Change My Other Mind...Again!

I just can't help myself! No matter how much I try to call this kitty by the name of Rudy...

His name is Aslan. That's just how it is. Aslan is not an easy name to call, but it is the name that continues to fall out of my mouth when I'm not thinking about it.

Yeah. Aslan.

It Is Decided...

He possesses the heart of a lion. He may even look like a lion from time to time. He is definitely noble and loyal, much like lions.

But he is also clumsy. He wants a lot of attention. He is waaaaaay too energetic. Therefore, his name is:

Rudy

Apologies ...

I'm sorry, folks. I've had to turn on word verification. Two spam comments in one day has been enough to convince me. For the whole two of you that comment, please don't stop commenting. Just remember: I do the same thing for one of you!

And Then There Were Three....

I'm down to three possibilities. Here they are ~ in no particular order.

~Rudy~

~Aslan~

~Judah~

Please help.

...Other Possibilities...

Previously considered names: Levi, Judah, Aslan.

Run-down of names considered today:

Because he's an orange tabby & the overtime hours I work: OT

Because he has large feet & "paws" things: Pawl

Because he is orange: Rusty

Because he purrs long & loud: Percy

Because it's an ordinary name for an ordinary-looking cat: Henry

Because he never quit and ended up beating the odds: Rudy

Other items of interest:
He is the first cat I've known who actively uses a scratching post.
He responds to the word "no."
He's a "snatch-n-run" thief when he wants something to play with that is not a toy.
He does play with cat toys - stuffed mice, paper balls, and things on a string.
He is being cordial but cautious toward visitors.
At some point, he was hit by a previous owner.
A lot.

What's in a Name?

If names really aren't all that important, why is it so hard to give one to a new pet?? Meet my orange tabby. I adopted him from Saving Graces for Felines. The girl who was working at the time is someone I know from church.

This sweet fella had been at the pound since May. The people who work there just couldn't bring themselves to destroy him because he is such a good cat ~ so they let him stay on much longer than usual until the lady from Saving Graces could rescue him. According to her, she knew she was picking up this cat for someone. She was so very pleased when she found out it was me! She had named him Levi and for awhile I thought I'd keep that name. However, the moment I brought this 2 year old home, I knew "Levi" just wasn't right. The problem is, just what is the right name?

He reminds me of a lion. I researched "lion" in several languages but nothing appealed to me. And don't you dare say "Simba!" For the past two days, I've been calling him Judah. Two people I know have shortened it to Jude. (Both mean 'praise' or 'praised')

But something weird has happened. Last night and again this morning, "Aslan" popped out of my mouth. To remind you, Aslan is the lion in C.S. Lewis' Chronicles of Narnia. Aslan is the Christ-figure in the stories. This kitty is affectionate and vocal. He likes to be close by without smothering me. He "paws", which you can see in the picture. I suppose I'm appealing for help. My new baby needs a name. What do you think?