Aslan Apprisal

I dropped off Aslan at the vet's this morning so he could have his surgery. I feel so foolish. I have fought tears all day long! If it weren't for the fact that Luke has already been 'declawed', I'd leave Aslan's alone. As it stands, the two cats are going to be sharing a house and I don't want Luke to suffer any physical or emotional damage.

My sweet Babes came through the surgery fine. I visited him about 30 minutes ago and boy, was he still pretty drugged up! His pupils were seriously dialated and his eyes glassy. His head was bobbing around all over the place. I know he couldn't focus on anything. Still, he had managed to pull off one of the protective socks the vet had wrapped around his paws. (They're purple!)

The office is closed tomorrow so I won't see Aslan again until I pick him up Thursday, "We prefer afternoon." It's going to seem pretty lonely here tonight. His toys are picked up and put away. I'm going to have to make a special trip to the store in order to purchase the right kind of litter to use for the next week or so.

There are a few consolations: I know Luke will be better off with Aslan's claws disabled, and I won't have to worry about telling Aslan "no" when he decides to dig into the furniture (which is rare). With laser surgery the pain and bleeding is so much less. I can't really call this procedure humane, but it's just about as close as a person can get when they are mutilating their kitty. =/

Whether you are interested or not, I'll keep you posted.

you

my mind is filled with thoughts of you.
what are you doing?
do you miss me?
what are you thinking?
are your thoughts running parallel to mine?

my heart longs to hear you...
close by...
at a distance..
from anywhere.
my eyes long to see you.

part of me has become whole again
but my life is still fragmented
bits and pieces gone
recoverable by only one means.

will you have me?

More Monday Humour

Generally, Monday morning finds my mind on "hold." Therefore, humorous cartoons may become the norm. That won't be too bad, will it?

Honestly, my mind is a jumbled mass of thoughts. I am plagued by decisions that must be made and I am on a deadline of sorts.

It reminds me of Morpheus' words to Neo: Stop trying to hit me and hit me! I wonder if any of you can make the connection....

Awkward

What a great word! I think of some clumsy bird hopping along the ground making a God-awful noise in an attempt to take to the air. (An albatross?)


Awkward describes how I have felt over the last 24 hours. After spending the past five days on Cooper Street, today is the day I will head back to South Haven. It is needful that I go. Part of me wants to go. The rest of me is torn to ribbons over the prospect.


The week went extremely well. There was laughter. We took walks. There was a sense of ease. Stresses were discussed. And last night I slept through the night for the first time in a month.

It is almost time to move back home.

Saturday

Today dawned early for me. I was awake before 5am and out of bed shortly thereafter. I don't know if I had a full night's sleep or not. I just couldn't sleep anymore. So, I ended up on the couch curled in a blanket and reading my book.

Aslan and Luke have formed an uneasy alliance. At least, sometimes they have. At other times they chase each other around and judging from their postures, I would venture a guess that they are not playing.

Speaking of uneasiness, I have started feeling that way myself. I've had brief moments of it over the past several days but nothing uncontrollable. I've been out and about enough to keep the feelings at bay. Wednesday, Shannon & I went to the movies. Thursday was spent in the kitchen, but Andy and I also took two strolls which I have learned are just as good for me emotionally/psychologically as they are physically. Friday, we spent most of the day with my parents and then I met Ben at BearRock for dinner. We had a very nice time.

Today Andy and I are going grocery shopping and I really need to clean the oven. I'm such a mess in the kitchen! The oven took a major hit this week and is smoking whenever we heat it beyond 325*. I'm going to have to stop by my apartment to pick up my laundry and something clean to wear today.

Thursday I had to make a quick trip to my place for some brown sugar & a particular dvd we watch every Thanksgiving. As I was pulling my key out of the deadbolt I thought, "I'd really like to keep this place." The idea surprised me. I thought I was about ready to move back home but every now and then these little thoughts crop up. The difference is this: When Andy and I were on one of our strolls I told him about it. I would never have done that before our separation and ensuing therapy. Andy's reaction surprised me. He told me if we had the financial means, he would have no problem letting me keep the apartment and sleep there from time to time. Of course, we don't really have the money but it's really okay. His response to my "I wish" was enough in this case.

I'm convinced my uneasiness stems from having mixed feelings about heading back to my apartment. I'm starting to feel the need for some solitude, but I've also thoroughly enjoyed being here. I cannot seem to get over my aversion to utilizing the space in our bedroom when I feel the need to be alone. Everytime I go there in search of seclusion, I feel like a naughty little girl who has been banished to her room. Those feelings have been with me for years, but I haven't been able to put words to them until recently. I'm so thankful Andy is willing to let me change the now-empty bedroom into a den of my design. I believe a lot of the solitude problems will be solved when the room takes shape.

I'm thinking I'll head back to my cave sometime tomorrow. Until then, I will take the day as it comes and do my best to enjoy it. Right now, I'm going to make some pancakes.

Quick Update

I hope everyone enjoyed their holiday....Here are a few pictures to chronicle the past couple of days:

You see? I told you Birdzilla was real! This big turkey took up my entire oven! I even had to remove an oven rack! Andy was slicing turkey steaks off of this bad boy and I think it's a good thing he likes turkey. He's going to be eating it for a looooooooooooong time! Andy cut two plates full of turkey. I've frozen some to be made into soup at a later date. Mostly, Andy and Pat like to pick at it as snack food. I made sure there was plenty of that.

Aslan and Luke appear to be getting along better. Luke is no longer growling or hissing. They are taking turns chasing each other down the hall and only one time today has it gotten a little violent. I'll be glad when Aslan's claws are disabled. Then they can swat at each other all they want to - they'll both be shooting blanks!

As you can see, they shared a window - I guess some ground is neutral - while other ground - like boxes - is something over which to establish territory. While both cats have spent time in this box, they have not willingly given it up for the sake of the other cat. Alliances are made slowly in the feline world, but I remain optimistic.

Andy & I spent a good portion of today at my parent's house. We had a nice visit and a good lunch, to boot! I don't see my folks much. I supposed that is kind of sad since they live just 58 miles away, but there ya go. I know I will see them again before Christmas rolls around. This is a shot of Andy telling one of his newer and therefore favorite anecdotes.

And now for the pansies! Aren't they sweet?? Everytime I look at them I can't keep myself from smiling. We all need that, you know. If you can find a simple thing that makes you smile, surround yourself with it. After all, it seems the simple pleasures are the best & longest lasting.

Trial Run

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

I'm sitting on the couch at the house. I moved in for the holiday weekend on Tuesday evening. My hope is to stay the majority of the weekend, but I am keeping my options open. Packing up Alsan to bring him with me was like packing up a two year old! I brought a few of his favorite toys, his litter box, food dishes, and his favorite chair from my apartment - for something familiar to sit in/on. Okay, so maybe the chair was overkill. I can prove it:












As you can see, Aslan made himself at home on the couch. Therefore, it was only fair that Luke took over Aslan's chair. In fact, he is sitting in it as I compose this entry.

The picture on the right is proof that cats play the game "Red Light, Green Light." Remember that game? The person in the lead turns around and the other players run up on the lead person. The lead turns back around the the runners have to freeze. Well, Luke was trying to sneak away from Aslan this morning and sure enough, everytime Luke turned around, Aslan would walk up a step or two. When Luke would look back, Aslan froze. It was hilarious!

Honestly, they're getting along okay. There have been a few alterations and Luke has popped Aslan on the nose a couple of times but Aslan hasn't hit back. I think this is a good thing seeing as Aslan's claws are still fully operational. Aslan is much more relaxed than Luke, and I really believe he wants to be friends. Time will tell.

Every year, Andy's company gives the employees a free turkey for Thanksgiving. They are usually of the 12 to 14 pound variety, which is just about right for a family of four. I don't know what happened this year. All I know is Andy came home with Birdzilla. This sucker weights 22 pounds!! I read the label. A bird this size normally feeds two dozen people! I am so going to give Shannon some turkey to take home with her!

I was going to post some pictures of my pansies but blogger is freaking out on me so I guess I'll save them for another entry. I guess it is time to tether myself to the kitchen for the day! Before I click "submit", let me remind you of one thing: While gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins, it is not unforgiveable!

Be thankful, people. There is at least one thing in your life that is worthy of thanks.

A Fair Amount of Pictures from Fairhaven

I had a tremendous time at the Rennaisance Faire! It took me years and years to actually get to one but now I think I'll make it a regular practice. I'm considering a trip to Atlanta in April...There's a really big one there. I think we'll end up with a gypsy caravan if we (Beth & I) go. Already Shannon and Shepard have expressed an interest and Andy, good natured man that he is, has said he'd go, too ~ AND dress up!

This is a picture of Shannon and Shepard. (Some of you may have seen it on Shannon's xanga.) Shannon abandoned her royal roots and went "gypsy" on me. She looked great, though. Near the end of the day she was hanging around some guys who were playing drums. She started to dance and got a lot of attention, to include someone video taping her! Shepard looked so sweet...

By the time Sunday rolled around I abandoned my royalty as well. As you can see I wore a "sqush and push" and ended up with a henna tattoo. It was fun, though I got a strange sunburn ;o)

The tattoo is nearly gone now. I didn't really take care of it. It's okay, though. I know where to get more - and I don't have to go all the way to Fairhaven to get it!

I saw so many things - the shops, the foods (and the aromas they created), the shows, the people...the dust, the noise ... I really can't wait to do it again!

This is the storylady and her friend the unicorn. They were very cute. The unicorn informed me on Saturday that being able to see her meant something - I spent the rest of the weekend stating I couldn't see her every time I saw her! It's sort of a delicate matter. If you want to know what being able to see a unicorn means, email me & I'll tell you!

The Chicken Man was amazing. He got the audience to participate with nothing more than chicken noises, hand signals, and a whistle. He made the best facial expressions!

Don Juan and Miguel were quite funny - if a little tiresome by the time their show was over. Don Juan was really good with a whip. They have shot a full length feature film that won some sort of award but I can't remember what...

This dear fool was hilarious! He'd sit around and bang himself on the head, spouting jokes and other funny things in order to get a tip. He was a beggar of some sorts but I don't know if he intended to come across as lame or just a fool. Either way, he was funny. On Sunday I jingled my pouch full of change and asked him for some words of wisdom. This is what he said: 'Never remove a hemorroid by using the string and door knob method. It hurts a lot but you get a nice Christmas ornament out of the deal!" Needless to say, I dumped my change into his bucket. He thanked me by whapping himself on the head with his pan. Oh - and he reminded me of someone I know!

There were three parts to the jousting tournament. I saw just the first one but it was entertaining. Some of the "knights" were much more comfortable on horseback than others, but I still enjoyed it. I'd like to see more of the 'competition' next time.

This is a shot of Beth and me on Saturday. You see where we are? Right outside the privies! I think the funniest thing that happened to me that day was when I walked out of a port-a-john and this cavalier gentleman saw me. He swept off his plume-laden hat, bowed deeply with one leg extended and chivalrously said, "Milady."

C'mon! I'd just come out of a port-a-john! I held myself together though. I inclined my head, curtsied slightly, and murmured, "Kind sir." It wasn't until after I'd walked 20 feet that I burst into laughter.

As we were walking out that night, one of the employees stopped me.
Seeing as we closed the place he had been very busy telling people to get out! Leave already! When he saw me he touched me on the shoulder and said, "Except for you, milady." I was really surprised. We all stayed and talked with him for a few minutes before moving along. When we turned to leave he touched my shoulder again and said, "Really, this is very sweet." He was talking about my outfit, of course. (Though I wasn't a true lady as my shoulders were showing!)

Beth and I left early on Sunday. We had a long drive ahead of us and had to work on Monday. As we were leaving, Beth met the local friar. She proposed to him and he accepted! It seemed strange to him to perform his own marriage ceremony, but I thought he did a smashing good job of it.

I think the friar picked quite the hussy, don't you? Ah well, everyone deserves some fun now and again. Honestly, Beth's head gear - feathers, feathers, feathers - got her lots of attention. At one point she was stopped by a guy who wanted to take her picture. Then he was kind enough to take mine.

I stopped at a fairy's cart to purchase a piece of tail. Okay, not a piece of a tail but a whole one. It's a sagey green fox and went well with the brown, pink & green that I'd put together for my Sunday outfit. Having a tail swing from the back of one's belt means something, too. Feel free to email me if you want that information.

As you can see, the fairy wasn't all that thrilled. He was willing, in the spirit of fun, but I think just about everyone who worked the faire was worn out. It was the last day of a two month long event. Most were going to have a two month break before starting up again in Arizona. Most of these people are independents who travel from place to place living in tents & RVs. I think this kind of life would appeal to Shannon, but dancers mostly live on tips alone and don't make much money.....

This is an ent! I saw countless Lord Elronds and Arwens. No hobbits, though. It was neat to me the way all different "types" of people were in attendance and participating in one way or another. There was a large "pirate" contingency on Sunday, many more than what we saw on Saturday.

Some of the costumes were extremely elaborate and must have cost hundreds and hundreds of dollars. I think given a little time I could make costumes. I'd love to make a cloak! Don't put it past me. I already have the pattern for one. Does anyone remember the cape Pat wore to my party last October? I made that - from the same pattern that could be made into a cloak for a 'lady' such as myself!

The friar took this picture of Beth and me as we were leaving on Sunday. I had a really smashing time and as stated previously, look forward to doing it again. I'd recommend attending a Rennaisance faire to anyone! Even if you don't get into the spirit of things by dressing up, I still think you'd have a good time walking around and watching people, eating the food, watching the shows, and looking at the amazing handiwork of the vendors. Many of the items were hand made.

Yep. It was well worth the trip.

A Poet and I Didn't Know it!

Andy has been writing to me a lot over the past few months. His insight and sensitivity surprise me. In case any of you fellows are reticent to share your true thoughts for fear you will appear unmasculine, let me set your minds at ease. If you have tender feelings toward someone and you want to write to her about it, do. Believe me, she'll love it. I actually print Andy's musings and put them in my journal. They take up several pages in the back of the book. I look forward to everything he writes. Even the ones that are written in silliness, like today's. ;o)

Aslan Ball

He's not big as in long, but he is fairly massive. Still he managed to curl himself up pretty small. After I took this picture, he squeezed up even smaller! He looked so snuggly....

Flowers Galore

Flowers make me smile. Today I bought a big whoppin bouquet of flowers from Wal*Mart. I used all 4 of my vases and I still had some flowers left over. Here is your challenge: Which arrangement do I like best? They will be identified as single fuji mum, fuji mum with red flowers, and spray of mums - purple & yellow.

This is just a little nonsense for fun, you understand. I won't be posting the answer for a few days so feel free to think about it! ;o)

Salute to a Rainy Monday...

Besides, Andy has the day off!

You, Chapter Two

**This is a continuation of what I consider to be the most noteworthy points made by Ed Young in chapter two of his book, You. Please remember I use italics or quotation marks when making a direct quote. Any other thoughts are Connie-originals.**

In chapter one, Young stated the tendency people have to get on different "treadmills" in their search for self-esteem and/or the answer to the question, "Do I matter?" In this chapter, Young says in order for people to get off this vicious treadmill cycle, we need to release our lives, to include our self-esteem, to God and allow Him to be the source of our self-esteem. Young goes on to say that once we do that, we are "prepared to discover that having great self-esteem means seeing ourselves the way God sees us - nothing more and nothing less."

I suppose that means we need to get over ourselves. Young cited Isaiah 49:5 which reads, "The Lord gives me honor; He is the source of my strength." Young also says When God created the universe, He spoke everything into existence...taking personal artistic care in the creation of mankind. In other words, each of us is a masterpiece.

A masterpiece? Oh, come on! I wish I had someone else's hair, someone else's height, someone else's body type, abilities, voice, etc. etc. etc. I have not normally struggled with the desire for material things, but the personal, inside stuff that is me...well, that's another story. I am not comfortable in my own skin. I never have been. I see so many other people with qualities much more desirable than mine. Why wouldn't I want to be like them? I struggled with these thoughts as I continued to read this chapter. Then Young said this:

When we clock out and meet the Lord face to face, God is not going to look at you and me and say, "Hey, I wish you would have been more like him or her." He's going to say, "I wish you had been more like you."

Wow. I know I've had these same truths run through my mind before, but to think of God saying it to me really made me pause. I've even chided people by telling them they insult God and His creation when they put themselves down. After all, He did design each of us and broke the mold after He did. There is only ONE me. ONE you. That is something to feel good about rather than beat ourselves up over.

When it comes to the worth of anything, Young speaks a well-known truth: an object is only worth what someone is willing to pay for it. Therefore, whenever we begin to doubt our worth or talk down about ourselves, we need to "remember the cross-remember the price God paid for us." Let me put it in Young's exact words:

But whenever you begin to doubt your worth, remember the cross - remember the price God paid for you. (emphasis mine)

That sort of makes it more personal, doesn't it? I admit I had to pause and reread that passage several times. It did me good.

Young tied his thoughts about our being a masterpiece and being worth such a high price very nicely: You are a masterpiece that was purchased at the highest price possible. He did it because we matter to him. He did it because He wanted us to understand our originality, our value, and to experience His love and forgiveness. Pause again. Reread. Meditate on it. Digest. Receive. Believe.

I do not have much in the way of tangents or original thoughts to add to this chapter. Young did such a fabulous job, all I could do was read slowly and allow myself to believe what he wrote. He finished up the chapter with these words: Right now, by His grace and by His power, He is saying to us, 'Give me your art supplies.' I want to do the painting. I'm the Artist. I can take your inadequate attempt at finger-painting and make the canvas of your life into something breathtakingly beautiful.'

So what's stopping us?

On the Beach

Veteran's Day dawned clear but windy and cold. It wasn't easy to walk along the beach and if the sun hadn't been shining, it would have been down right unbearable.

I don't know what type of animal this backbone belonged to, but there ya go. Later on we found what appeared to be the skull of the same creature but there was no way to be sure. In fact, we found lots of body parts along the surf's edge that day.

The claw! You're afraid of the claw...you don't want the claw to touch you. [What movie?] And of course down further you'll see the horseshoe "crab." Horseshoes are not really crabs, ya know.

I did managed to find a few new shells to add to the tropical-theme painted glass that sits on my bathroom counter. That was the whole purpose behind the beach trip besides being close to the water.

Upon leaving Fort Macon, Andy & I decided to go to the Beaufort waterfront. There were a lot of empty boat slips but the one ship I wanted to see was there.

The Lookout Cruises Katamaran is a 45 foot dream. We've taken the sunset cruise before and it was just fabulous. There's nothing like feeling the wind pull you through the water. No loud engines, no gas fumes, nothing - just the breeze & the water. A person can't beat that with a stick! Andy and I promised each other to do the Lookout Cruise soon. It is a day-long journey to the Cape Lookout lighthouse.

Once upon a time, we owned an 18 foot katamaran. We sailed from Radio Island to the lighthouse and back one day, escorted by dolphin for most of the trip out. It was a long arduous journey, but well worth it. The water out of Radio Island is so green and clear. Well, it was then. I don't know if it still is.

Andy and I rounded out our day at Texas Steakhouse in Morehead. Later that same day, Beth & I left for "Fairhaven" and the Rennaisance faire. But that is another story!

A Date at Fort Macon

Veteran's Day seemed to be the perfect day to visit Fort Macon. Andy and I met in the parking lot there in June of 1981. We were both very impressed with how much progress/restoration had taken place since the last time we visited.

Oh-it hasn't been 24 years since we've been there, but still a lot has changed at the fort in recent years. The bread oven, storeroom, mess hall, commissary and other exhibits are quite well done.

They've also added a barracks for each war in which the fort was occupied. There have been some exhibits for years, but many of them were new. Lighted maps and audio explanations added to the experience.

As you can see, it still pays to be short while visiting the fort! This is the entrance to the powder magazine. Yes, my head is brushing the ceiling but it makes little difference. My back thanked me for not having to stoop in order to take a peek!

I can remember visiting Ft. Macon as a teenager and playing hide and seek with other kids while there. My own two children have also roamed over the fort's grounds. There is something to be said for that. My parents are from Maine & Illinois and I do not have the benefit of having played in their old stomping grounds. I've visited places from their home states, but never had enough time to establish any sense of identity there. I think it's awesome that Andy's & my kids have long roots.

There are even exhibits from WWII. There was that German U-boat scare that caused the federal government to take the fort back from the state parks & rec department and occupy it again. Nothing ever happened and I imagine it was a boring occupation for the soldiers at that time. At least during the Spanish-American War the fort was used as a prison so there was something for the military men to do!

I apologize for the glare on this photo. I had seen ships in a bottle before, but this is a crucifixion in a bottle! I took at least 6 pictures of this in an attempt to get a clear shot but there just didn't seem to be a good angle. Mary & John are at the base of the cross and there are representative symbols of Christ on either side of the cross but I can't remember what they are. I thought this was pretty nifty. Thus, the picture.

Our day together didn't end at Fort Macon. We then put our feet on the beach - something that I must do everytime I get within a stone's throw of the ocean. I'll put that in the next entry. (It is going to be a very prolific Sunday where blog entries are concerned!)