Realizing Our Dreams...Friend or Foe?

Dreams. I've written about them before. They're tricky things, you know. We have our dreams. We spend a lot of time wishing, hoping, and fantasizing about what would happen to ourselves and our lives if our dreams were to come true.

But there's a rub to it all. We idealize our dreams. In them, everything works perfectly. There are no snags, no hiccups, no bumps in the road. We all know better than that, don't we? There is no such thing as a perfect life. It is rare for things to work out exactly as we plan.

Those of us who are fully aware of that fact might have a problem. We are a little apprehensive when it comes to the idea of pursuing our dreams and moving them from Dreamworld into Reality Central. See, we like our perfect little fantasy world. It gives us hope. It gives us something about which to feel anticipatory. If our dreams were to come true, we might be disappointed. Disappointment is something we don't want. It would be less than perfect. We know that. So, we hide those wishes away. We keep them close to ourselves and don't work to make them happen in order to protect our fantasies.

WHY?

If we have the ability to look at our dreams with a logical eye and critical thought, then we will see them for what they are. We will recognize what can't be perfect and accept it. After thinking it all through, we should be able to make the crucial decision: is the dream worth the pursuit or not?

Since this is my blog, I have no problem revealing my opinion on the matter. All things considered, it is my belief that dreams are worth the chase. If the thought of the dream still makes us happy even after analyzing the hard truth, there shouldn't be anything that would stop our quest to make Dreamworld embrace Reality Central.

Emotions, Continued

It's me. That's right. I'm the other source of fuel for my emotional rollercoaster. That probably doesn't surprise anyone. Just consider it: Our own thought processes can determine how we feel about ourselves or any situation.

It is no wonder that we should "take every thought captive to the obedience of Chrst." Still, I often ponder which thoughts are the ones that need to captivated and which should be allowed to run their course.

The way I think/react to what a person says or does, or even the way I feel physically feeds my emotions. After much thought, I've realized that the battle just gets to be too much sometimes. I grow weary of the fight to keep my emotions under control or at bay. Now, some people say that all emotions need to be felt and processed in order to move on.

There are other people who have brain surgery to correct their "aggressive tendencies."

I really try to be logical about emotions. It's difficult, though, because of the amount of pain we humans are forced to endure day after day. Giving in is inevitable from time to time, I guess.

I wonder about the apathetics of the world. (See first entry entitled "Emotions") These are the people who say they don't feel emotion ~ or enough emotion to consider themselves "normal." Common synonyms to the word apathy are indifference, lethargy, and laziness. [Also ennui! :o) ] You know what I think? I think the apathetics are suffering from depression. There are a lot of times when I feel lazy, am lethargic, and experience indifference. During those times I tell people that I'm blue. Blue is another synonym. A synonym for depressed.

For those of you who feel a plethora of emotions and cannot express them, I wish I were more like you. I think it would be better to be able to keep it all hidden than be so transparent you can't fool anyone. I think it would be better to be unexpressive than feel an uncontrollable urge to "throw up" all over people when I can't handle anymore.

Conclusion: We aren't happy with who we are. We see someone else and think that what they have or what they do is better. Why? We are who we are. If other people don't want to deal with us, fine. Consider it their loss.

Emotions. We have them. Life would be very dull without them. We need to go with our emotions and deal with them the best we can. Most importantly, we need to stop beating ourselves up over them.

Now if I could only take my own advice.......

Emotions (Warning: this is a LONG entry!)

There is a young man with whom I am barely acquainted but he has won my admiration and respect. On a different forum, he shared his struggle with emotions. The amount of response surprised me. A lot of different people who are in various walks of life disclosed their own battles with the same thing ~ emotions. It took this young man's courage and perhaps a touch of desperation to encourage others to open up. The result was that some people no longer felt as if they are walking through this battlefield, more commonly referred to as life, alone.

Some people worry because they do not "feel" enough emotion. The word apathetic is used a lot. Others express concern due to a lack of ability to express the emotions that are apparently raging within them.

Then there are the ones like me, who stay on a constant rollercoaster. We experience wonderful and exhilarating highs and then plunge into horrible and devastating lows. I have been thinking about the rollercoaster a lot lately. Mine tends to get its power from a couple of different sources. One of them is people. Not necessarily the moods of the people who are around me, but their response to something I've said or done. This causes huge problems. I'll get an idea and after what I think is careful consideration, I act on it. This makes me happy! I get excited! I am a supporter by nature so whenever I think I'm doing something good, productive and/or helpful it makes me feel terrific. However more often than not, I find out that the people who are going to be effected by my ideas are less than thrilled ~ even after all of the Lady Constance angles are discussed.

It is easier to say it this way: I get rejected. Yeah I know, everyone experiences rejection every day and as far as I know nobody has died from it. It just makes you feel as though you want to. The negative emotions - especially self-pity - are the easiest to fall into and the hardest to pull out of.

And sometimes it isn't rejection at all. It just feels that way. (Hey, this post is about feelings.) From my perspective, the other person should immediately jump on my bandwagon, but for some unknown reason they don't. That confuses me because most of the time I get my brilliant ideas/plans from the input of others. Therefore, my bandwagon should be seen as the most colorful and most desireable one out there. So yeah. It feels like rejection when in the long run it might not be rejection at all. But, the jury is still out on that thought.

Can you guess what might be the other source of fuel for my rollercoaster?....You know what? I'll let you think about it for a little while. I will post a sequel at another time.

~~~~~~~~~~~Ain't I a stinker?~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Old Poems

While cleaning out a closet I came across some old poems. It takes a lot of courage for people to post their 'art' out here for the whole wide world to see, so please be kind. My tender ego will thank you. :wub:

He fell in.
He was just looking
And stumbled.

A dreamscape,
He doesn't grasp
This other place.

Brave enough
To live inside
And see beyond?

Or deny it
Leave his dreams
And live in reality?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With her back to the world
She attempts to deny
That which invades her senses.

Try as she might
The impressions come in
And destroy all of her defenses.

Exposed, she can only
Stand and savor the adventure
That fantasy brings.

She fancies herself
Released from constraint
Free to fly on hope's jeweled wings.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He doesn't want to see within the mirror.
He runs for he is desperately afraid.
Because if he looks deep within the mirror,
The lies he's built about himself will fade.
He doesn't want to see.
Is he ... Me?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With a stretch
And a sigh
I open my eyes
To the dawn

Steaming mug
And bare feet
I go out to greet
A new day

Birds awake
Gentle wind
As the day begins
I smile

There are others, but I'll spare you for now. I expect I'll post more at a later date, though. Thanks for taking the time to read more of my musings..........

A Musing...(not Amusing)

The problem with dreams is when they die; and they do, a part of the dreamer dies as well. A piece of the soul, a portion of emotion, a slice of the heart withers. Withering is accompanied by a loss of hope. Dreamers put trust in their ideas. They believe the desire to be attainable, and when the cold hard truth is revealed, the dream becomes a bona fide nightmare.

Life ends. Not the physical reality of life, but the divine spark that makes a person uniquely individual from others slowly fades like the flame of a candle starving for oxygen. Yes, life ends.

The more a person dreams and subsequently suffers the loss of those dreams one by one, the more melancholy the person becomes. Hope is replaced by despair, trust by suspicion, and zest for life by apathy. Few people are able to bounce back time after time from the loss of a dream. I know of only one person who might fit into that category. I envy him. I do not have that ability.

My life is moving on without me. My dreams are dying one by one. Subsequently, I am dying as well. The saddest part is that I no longer care.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That non-amusing musing was written earlier this week. Since then, I've had a slight change of heart. That's right. As kiddo is fond of saying, I "got over myself" and realized a dream dies only if we let it or if circumstances beyond our control causes its death.

Dreams do not come true without something in the physical realm helping it move into reality. Too often we sit around waiting for it to magically appear the way it did in our heads~or dare I say, hearts.

Working toward the realization of a dream requires change. Change does not come without cost. Painful cost. Therefore, the dreamer must take the cost into account and decide if said cost is too expensive or if it is affordable.

If the dream is an affordable one, then by all means my friends, strive for it. Reach for it. Work, toil, and sweat to push, pull, and cajole that dream from the mist of wishes into clearly visible reality.

That's what I am going to do.

Define "Later"

Maybe it is just me. Am I the only person who gets confused about what the word "later" really means? It is interesting that our oft-quoted friend, Webster, does not give the word its own listing. Rather, "later" is shoved in with the word 'late', along with 'latter', 'latest', and 'last.'

Definition 1: occuring, coming, or being after the usual proper time. (2) continued until after the usual time or hour. (3) coming towad the end of the day or well into the night...(10) after the usual proper time, or after delay. (12) at or to an advanced time, period, or stage.

While definition 10 comes pretty close to my view of the word, the dictionary wasn't very helpful, was it? I'm still perplexed. Is there no firm definition for the word "later?" All I know is when someone tells me they'll see or talk to me later, I am apt to spend a lot of time waiting around. Guess what? Most of the time, "later" never comes.

I can see now that the problem is me, as usual. When someone tells me "later", I assume they mean later the same day. Ah, that's the ticket. We all know what happens when we assume something....

More Thoughts about Words

After my initial post I remembered that women usually speak between 20 & 50 thousand words per day. That is a lot of words! Too many, really.

This led me to think if I wanted responses to my heart, soul, mind, and emotion-driven words, maybe I should talk to other women more often. Apparently the female of the species has plenty to say.

My musings took me a little further: Maybe I just talk too much. Ever since I can remember I've been told I do. I guess it is pretty audacious of me to think just because my thoughts are important to me, I should write them down or speak them out, spreading them all over the place without considering whether or not they are important to whomever hears or reads them.

Then there is the statement my Dad always used to make, "Actions speak louder than words." There is a slight problem with that, however. Sometimes, words are all we have. Physical distance from the people with whom we want to share things keeps us from being able to 'act' our thoughts and feelings.

Perhaps I should just shut up. No, according to research that would be impossible. Therefore, I should stick to non-emotional, safe, surface stuff like the weather. That sort of sharing (?) would most assuredly protect my heart, but putting safe-words into practice would make for a very shallow and unfulfilling existence.

I guess I'll just make an attempt to shut up.

Words

I thought for my first entry I should make a note about words. I have realized something in the past few days and felt strongly about sharing it.

Words are not only powerful, they are also precious and priceless. If you share your words with someone in either oral or written form and there is no response, there is a good chance you have wasted your words. Think about that for a minute. Sharing your words means revealing your heart, soul, mind, & emotions to someone. If that person doesn't care enough to reply, perhaps you should not share your words with them. You only set yourself up for getting hurt. Protect your words and in so doing, protect yourself.

Okay, I realize this is a blog and I don't expect everyone who reads it to respond in some way. I am speaking more about a one-on-one situation. Besides, maybe you don't think words are as special as I do. But you're reading my blog - so you must give my words at least some small value and for that I thank you.

Anyway, don't waste your words on the unappreciative and/or unresponsive. Save them for those who truly care.