You

Or in this case, Me.

The book You is my current read. It is a book about godly self-esteem. I don’t suppose it shocks any of my regular readers (all 4 of you) to hear that I struggle in the area of self worth. A pursuit of ego is not my intention. Rather, the goal is true inner peace and value.

While the book may be weak exegetically, the author still raises valid points. In fact, he got my attention so much that I’ve read the first chapter twice and am still chewing on it. The gist of the first chapter is that we should get our self-esteem from God and the way He views us. (My friend Janis is reading a book that stated something similar) Adam and Eve didn’t have self-esteem issues before the fall. They were made as a reflection of God and therefore were perfect. They kept their eyes on Him and did not doubt their purpose in life. When the first two people on the earth made their fatal choice, it was the first time they had looked to someone/thing else for their value. It was then they started to struggle.

Young is right. We look to other people or circumstances for our sense of worth. Why? People are imperfect and therefore have an imperfect view of who we are. We are also imperfect inside ourselves so what good is it to look within for self-esteem?

The problem is we live in an imperfect world. We are inundated by outside influences that oftentimes negatively affect us. No wonder we stay on roller coasters! Because until recently I was in really bad shape emotionally, and because of my current circumstances, I’ve had to make some tough choices.

My choice for the moment is to avoid, if possible, any hits to my self-esteem. I feel as though I am just now starting to get my head above water and become the person I used to be. Suffering a setback now would be devastating. The unfortunate part of this process is that my decisions have negatively affected people I care about. At this point I just have to let the chips fall where they may.

For the majority of my life I’ve played doormat. It has been my choice to let others take precedence. I thought I was doing the right thing but I suffered a lot of emotional and psychological damage in the process. Consequently, for the time being I have had to make my life about me. And finding out who I am and why I am. There is only one true source to Whom I can go for that information.

I’ll keep you posted on the rest of the book. I think it will be a good one.