The Day From You Know Where

Today was just frustrating. That is all I can say. The longer the day went on, the more behind I became. By the time I left work today, my "in slot" was full of things I did not get accomplished yesterday, plus what was in my "inbox" when I came in this morning. Not only that, but my "inbox" was also full of things that were placed in it late...very late...this afternoon. (Yes, I was back in the office well after I should have been home.) In my mind, this means I did not even hold my own today. I did not tread water. I am sinking.

A lot of it is my own doing, of course. I put others and their needs ahead of my deadlines. Therefore, I spend many days running around taking care of the staff members and placing my tasks on hold. I do not have an office. I cannot close myself off from the rest of the world. There are constant distractions and interruptions. This often causes me to have to bring my tasks home in order to work in solitude and quiet.

Even more frustrating than allowing myself to be pulled around by the needs/wants of others is the manner in which my boss treats the staff. She has made my duties clear to me: I do absolutely nothing (and I mean nothing) without her knowledge or permission. I am a person who naturally takes the initiative. There are times when I tackle problems & solve them long before she is even aware of them. If she feels the need to yell at me because I forgot to ask permission first I can understand it because as I said earlier, she has made her wishes as clear as crystal. However, the way she treats the rest of "her" employees is appalling. In a nutshell, if it is not important to her or on her personal agenda, it is not important and does not merit her time and/or attention. Several instances of this mindset were brought to my attention today. I was eventually reduced to tears as I considered the damage the boss is inflicting on people about whom I care. In my mind, she should care, too.

But wait! There's more! I had my called-back follow up medical appointment today. (I was sitting in the waiting area when my boss telephoned and asked me to go back to work - I went back, but after the appointment.) Well, the call-back test led to another test, performed immediately and onsite. Something has been found. There are two possible courses of action. Naturally, I am nervous. The results are being sent to my general practioner and we will talk about which option is best for me. She has never steered me wrong, so I will probably do whatever she recommends. Yeah, I'm a little nervous, but calm. Is it possible to be both?

When Andy got home this evening - also late after a day from the same place as mine - he had an issue with his car and asked if I minded that he wanted to look at it before we talked. I didn't mind. I knew he would be distracted by thoughts of his car rather than listen to me and what I needed was someone to listen. So, I waited. When the chance to vent arrived, he was the perfect listener. He offered suggestions and support, but only at the opportune times. I talked for quite awhile. It was 8:15 before I plunked a couple of blt's and an ear of corn in front of him for dinner. And then he cleaned up the kitchen. What would I do without him?

I brought work home with me. I am eyeballing it as I type this blog entry. It is now after 9pm and I wonder if it is worth pulling out.

Probably not.