Avoidance of Another Kind

Do you ever avoid people? Do you feel guilty when you do? After working in the public school system for 11 years, I have become a master at avoidance. It is not that I do not love my former students or the other children in the school. It is merely that I see them 5 days a week and really want my time away from work to be my time away from them, too.

There was one time I spent an entire trip to Lowe's avoiding a set of twins. They weren't "bad" kids. I just didn't want to put on the "teacher face." Sometimes, I even *gasp!* avoid the adults with whom I work, as well!

Why am I thinking about this now? Well, I think I have been on the receiving end of 'Avoidance' recently. There is a person with whom I was getting acquainted. I was enjoying the process and though we spent most of our time crying on each other's shoulders, it was comforting to be able to approach this person without wearing a mask. Maybe it is because I didn't know them very well that I felt I could do it.

In retrospect, I am afraid that I should not have been such a downer toward this person. I was going through a terrible time (this person wasn't much better off than I was) and even though I am not completely out of the melancholy in which I found myself, I do feel better. That has caused me to think more clearly and with a broader perspective.

It hurts to be on the receiving end of avoidance. I must remember that. I should stop doing it. I care a lot about the person I am talking about, and I miss them dreadfully.

To my missing friend: I hope you are doing better, now. I am sorry for not being more encouraging to you. I apologize for being too selfish and self-centered. I miss you, but if you feel that it is better to let go of the pursuit of a friendship, I understand. I am still always here for you ~ in thought and heart if not in person.