The Follow-up Response

I am starting to think there is just one person who reads this blog. I really cannot blame anyone who has abandoned it. This journal tends to be a real downer, which is why I stopped keeping a diary years ago.

Anyway, I did have one [email] response to my last post. It appeared that the person wanted to believe the statement is true. Wisdom followed by saying that God is married to the backslider. Therefore even when we as people give up, He remains true.

Let us not forget that God is perfect. Sure, our relationship with Him works both ways. If we pour ourselves into Him, He will pour Himself into us. (He will not force Himself on anyone, correct?) When we get tired or discouraged and start to fold up like a hibiscus blossom at the end of the day, God remains ~ pouring and pouring and pouring ~ waiting for our response. That fact makes my statement about relationships true. We most certainly do get back what we put into our relationship with Him.

As I said, God is perfect.

People are not.

I would have to say that for the majority, the statement is false. I have only my life experiences upon which to draw, but hear me out. I have been on both sides of this situation and they both leave much to be desired.

In some cases, people have poured themselves into me. They have opened up, shown concern, and made me their focus. In a nutshell, they have loved me and loved me well. Sounds great, except that as these people were 'putting into' our relationship, I was not interested. Consequently, I was not receptive to their efforts, making the whole thing unproductive. Worse, the giving person did not get anything back, and they deserved at least that much.

To be honest, it makes me feel lower than snake snot to be unable to receive and/or reciprocate another person's attentions.

Worse than not being interested in a person's efforts is being on the receiving end of the disinterest. I do know what it is like to be laid bare before someone ~ to love them with everything inside. I understand how it feels to demonstrate, communicate, and encourage to the best of my ability, and have it hit a...wall. No. Not a wall. If my (or anyone else's) efforts were to hit a wall, at least something would bounce back.

No. Instead, the efforts just...melt...disintegrate...into some abyss somewhere never to be returned. The effort is either barely acknowledged or not acknowledged at all, as the person we are trying to pour ourselves into chooses other things...other people...to pour themselves into.

They may even toss in an "I love you" now and again...or give up a few minutes of their day sometimes...but it does not feel right. And we know they do not value...cherish...the relationship as much as we do. They do not see it in the same light. It is not as important. They do not love as deeply or as strongly as we do.

And

It

Hurts.

Badly.

Is it their fault, or is it that our perspective is out of whack? There is a good chance that we find ourselves in this situation only after believing that the other person is in the same place we are ~ that they feel the same ~ that they want the relationship to grow & move ahead.

Is it their fault or do we become too focused on that person? And wouldn't it work out better to focus the energies on God? He is, after all, perfect. He would reciprocate if we let Him.

But we are not perfect. We desire reciprocal actions and feelings from flesh and blood. I do not think God blames us for that.

My (very long-winded) answer to the statement: "True or false: A person gets out of a relationship what s/he puts into it." must sadly be...

False.