You Always Hurt the One You Love

This song popped into my head a few moments ago. I could not recall any of the lyrics except that opening line. Oh..and the other thing I remembered was Scott Hamilton's comedic ice skating routine to the same tune.

So..let us take a look at some of the lyrics:

You always hurt the one you love
The one you shouldn't hurt at all
You always take the sweetest rose
And crush it til the petals fall
You always break the kindest heart
With a hasty word you can't recall
So if I broke your heart last night
It's because I love you best of all
It's because I love you best of all

The first point I want to make is that I do not feel as though I have been on the receiving end of the crushing, hurting, breaking. It is my impression that I have been on the giving end. I believe my thinking has been too self-centered. Of course, that hasn't been my intention, nor did I consider that statement to be true at the time of the crushing, hurting, breaking. It always comes in hindsight. After the emotional storm has blown over. The problem I have is that the emotional storm does not blow over unless I blow it onto someone. I do not seem to possess the ability to ride the storm on my own and until it subsides. That is my fault, my weakness, my shortcoming. I apologize to all of the people on whom I have "thrown up."

Next, of course we always hurt the ones we love. It is not that hard to figure out. We go to the ones we love when we are experiencing distress or are in some sort of need. Meaning, they get the full blow of our current state of mind/heart. And we expect them to just take it time after time. It is a good thing remorse is part of the human conscience and that the words "I'm sorry" are in our vocabulary. There is something else we can do to help ease the negative blows: make sure to share the joyful times with those same loved ones who help us bear our burdens.

Finally, we hurt the ones we love because there is a good chance that if we love them, they love us back. Therefore, not only do they hurt when expected to absorb our negative emotions by getting bashed, they are genuinely sad when we are hurting. They hurt because we hurt. This facet is, of course, unintentional on the part of the "Giver of the Hurt." It is called compassion. Having a compassionate nature is a wonderful quality to possess but many times it causes us to experience more hurt than others might.

Oh. That reminds me of something I thought about yesterday: Compassion is bred out of experience. We go through something difficult and hurtful ~ then we see someone else go through a similar situation and we "feel" for them. So, even though compassion is a largely painful emotion, it is a good one to have. It is avenue through which we can identify with another person.

I guess my main message with this entry is to apolgoize for hurting the ones I love who love me back...and to help me get over beating myself up for the times when I have hurt others.