And The Problem Is...

Communication.

Ah, yes. The complicated two-way street that is fraught with potholes, poor patch jobs, and perdition. Be aware: Communication only works when two people (or more) are actively involved. When there is a misunderstanding, I would venture to stay that 99% of the time it is not a mismatch of the mind or intent. Rather, it is a miscommunication.

Perhaps we spend too much time assuming that the other party understands what we mean by our hint-giving. We all know what happens when we assume something! The truth of the matter is this: If we want someone to fully understand our requests, meanings, or feelings, we must be straightforward with them. If we want something, we need to be clear in our request making.

If we feel negative emotions, the mature thing to do would be to analyze the situation to see what part we ourselves may have played rather than laying the blame on someone(s) else. We need to be honest with others, but more importantly we need to be honest with ourselves. Communication does require at least two people. That means in any miscommunication, there are at least two parties involved. We need to ask ourselves, "What could I have done differently?" "What role did I play?" and, "How can I fix this situation now?"

Finally, for the sake of friendships, marriages, and cooperation, if a person asks you outright if they have offended you, please...by all means, open those lines of communication and solve the problem rather than perpetuating it by keeping silence and holding grudges.

There are times when we are wronged by the other person involved. It happens. Mostly it is unintentional, but it does happen. Maybe we are wronged. However, could we have done something differently to keep the situation from being blown out of proportion? If so, let us take responsibility for our own part to play and give the other person a chance to take responsibility for theirs.

In other words, we need to grow up and act like adults.