The Mommy Forcefield

It has been an intriguing evening. After having dinner, Andy and I found ourselves at the town commons. A worship gathering was taking place there and my curiosity got the best of me.

You see, there was a time when I was involved in this group. I became aware of this weekly gathering when kiddo began attending regularly and then started dating the leader. He is nice enough and was very good for kiddo. I believe she was good for him, too. But as often happens in young people relationships, it all went south - and much further south than when it all began.

So, here we are at the end of May. In one more month I can mark the end of what I have decided to call "a very hard" year. It seems every 3 to five years our family experiences said "very hard" year.

Andy's and my difficulties have been chronicled here. Some of kiddo's have been, too. You see, this was the year she decided to strike out on her own and make her way in the world. Yes, she started small. Greenville is no metropolis - but it is plenty large enough for a 19 year old to stretch her wings a little.


In moving out from under the immediate care of her parents, Kiddo has learned some hard lessons about life and consequences. Some of the consequences have been her own doing. Others she has had to suffer due to the words and deeds of others (her parents included). She found herself 'out there' mostly on her own and it has not been pretty or easy for her.

A lot of the hurt she has endured - which has also caused struggles in her walk with God - has been at the hands of people who are regular attendees of these weekly worship gatherings. Most of them are adults who are my age or older, yet they seem to have forgotten what it was like to be a teenager. They do not consider where a person might be in their walk with Christ. And apparently they fail to realize how much damage their words can do. Maybe it is just me, but people in their middle 30's and beyond should have grown up enough to have grasped the idea that not everyone is the same and it doesn't make those who are different "bad" - they are just...different.

Kiddo was at the gathering tonight, too. Andy and I tried to give her space. We were there mostly to observe and absorb whatever God had for us. What I gleaned from Him tonight was a hard word: It is time to fully remove the Mommy Forcefield. At some point tonight, my kiddo separated herself from the rest of the group and sat off to the side alone. Andy and I were some distance away, but my first thought was to get to her in case she was struggling and wanted to talk. My second thought was to protect her from anyone who might try to approach her and conceivably do her more harm.

A strange thing happened on my way to her side (rescue?). God stopped me. I got within maybe 20 yards of her and stopped dead in my tracks. From there, I watched and prayed and realized that kiddo needs to get over...get past...all that has happened to her, and she will have to do it on her own with God's help.

And I do, too.

So, I sat where I was and prayed. It was then that I realized it has not been easy for me to watch from a distance as my daughter has made decisions that ultimately caused her harm. It has been almost impossible for me to let it all happen and not run to her side every time she experienced a little owie. It was then that I had the thought about the Mommy Forcefield. I cannot protect my children from life forever. In truth, I never really could. I am a mere human, and from the beginning of their lives I have said my children are in God's more than capable hands.

It is time for me to put that belief into action. From this time forward, I shall endeavor to stay in my children's peripheral vision. They will know I am available to them, but I will not force my presence - and all that comes with it - onto them any longer. And in letting them go, I will be letting them grow.