Strange Things Are Happening...

I feel much like Woody must have during the first Toy Story movie when Buzz Lightyear came in and took over Andy's room...and seemingly Woody's place in Andy's heart. Strange things are happening and I don't understand why. Suddenly I am seeing and hearing things again. I am perceiving potential teachings/life lessons in everyday occurrences.

Admittedly, I am nervous. I have been here before and failed miserably. As a Type A personality failure is one of my biggest fears, and anything less than perfection is failure. I have sought counsel from my family and a few trusted friends, all of whom have been supportive and wise in their observations. Ultimately, I must trust Him and *gulp* myself.


I am not new to these cycles of being a visionary of sorts. It is a fine line to walk, discerning what is His and keeping myself in check. Too often I have either run ahead or lagged behind in an attempt to hide, usually the latter. Words come back to me and are my source of peace during these times. Specifically, these: "But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart." There are some things about which I will not speak. But I will keep my eyes and ears open.

Of course I struggle with self-doubt. I have gotten it 'wrong' so many times. Those failures have prompted me to come up with a philosophy of sorts. It is a "safe zone" and possibly not the right mindset to have: "Go with what you know, and when in doubt, don't." Far too much time is spent doubting.

A thought came to me during yesterday's second service praise and worship. He can't move in us and through us until we are willing to honestly & truly surrender. There is nothing standing in the way of His will being done in our lives except ourselves.