Desperately Seeking
This is a call for help. It has been over 24 hours since my counseling session and I still cannot shake the after effects. Yesterday's talk with the therapist led to that wonderful thing - guilt - and its partner in crime, self-blame. 
Most of the feelings are over things that I see as failures in my past that I cannot do anything about. There's no fixing, redoing, or rebooting. I just have to deal with what I believe to be wrongdoings and get over them, as do the people I think I've wronged...whether I've really wronged them or not.And then there is the guilt and self-blame over things in the present and my feelings about things that are looming in my future. I feel as though my emotions are selfish to the extreme. That makes me a failure. That makes me less than perfect. It makes me wrong. Therefore, I should feel guilty.
The mind is a terrible thing. . .and it must be stopped. . .in our lifetime. . .before it kills somebody. I am desperately seeking peace. Please pray that I will experience a release of this pain of unnecessary guilt. Please pray that I will receive an infusion of the peace that only He can give. Please pray. Thanks.
posted by Lady Constance at 9:39:00 PM
1 Comments:
Jesus bore all of your guilt, shame, and blame on the cross. It's not yours to carry...give it to Him.
Our feelings will lie to us sometimes. We can't always trust how we feel. But know this...the emotions are not necessarily wrong...they just "are"...they exist. A friend of mine used to say, "Feel what you feel, and get over it."
Reality check: you are not perfect. Neither am I. Or anyone. The only One that ever was perfect, they crucified. You do not have to be perfect. You are not a failure, even if you have failed in some way. (Not saying you did...)
Thank you for being so honest about your feelings & what you're going thru in your blog. I know I don't really know you, but I enjoy reading about what you're writing. It's brutal and honest, but sometimes it's the only way to grow past the painful place we are in. Trust me, I've been in those places before myself and dealt with my share of feelings of guilt, shame, failure, and lack of perfection. There is a way out to the other side. It took me a very long time to get there, and only God's grace took me there. So keep on keeping on.
Hoping this does not sound like the Good Christian's manual of "do this & feel better..." *S* Just offering some encouragement.
Set your mind on...
"You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You. 4 Trust in the Lord forever, For in Yah, the Lord, is everlasting strength." Isaiah 26:3,4
"My peace I give unto you, My peace I leave you, not as the world gives, give I unto you. Let your heart not be troubled, neither let it be afraid." John 14:27
"In the world you shall have tribulation, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." John 16:33
"6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy--meditate on these things." Philippians 4:5-8
Praying for you.
Carolyn (Ben's mom)
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