Perfect Timing
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My most fervent prayer right now is that I will know beyond a shadow of a doubt when it is time for me to move back home and that it will not be much longer before I do.
It was particularly difficult to leave Andy tonight. He took it hard too, which makes me feel twice as guilty. Tonight went well. We fixed dinner. Watched a movie. Sat on the deck and talked. Normal stuff. And it felt good. Right. Natural. The problem is it doesn't always go that way. There are times when I feel restless and/or uncomfortable. Times when I need pure, uncompromised, unadulterated solitude.
My therapist keeps telling me that time is on my side. There is no rush. Time is my friend. I am starting to feel as though time is my enemy. I'm wasting it! It is slipping away! Will I know when it is time? Will I ever be ready? When do I need to just shut my eyes, hold my nose, and jump?
6 Comments:
I'm sorry I have no great words of wisdom, Sorry I can't wave a wand and make the pain go away. I have realized all I can do is be there for you, be patient and wait.
As far as getting the time back and / or 'loosing' more time.
I leave you with this from a 'manufacturing' prespective.
We have known each other for 24 years. Thats 210240 hours. lets say we are together another 34 years, thats 293760 hours for a total of 504000 hours.
6 months out of that is 4320 hours.
That is a loss of .08%... One heck of a 'Qaulity' record :)
How,s that for random number crunching :)
you should get your therapist to read your journal.
-Kiddo.
Andy - How'd you get to be so smart? Very nice perspective. Thanks.
Sunflower - Why do you say my therapist should read my journal?
How did I get so smart???
I married a teacher, didnt I ?
:)
because sometimes its easier for you.. [and me.. I know because I got it from you] to get out how you are feeling or express how you are feeling thru your words..
maybe you are able to get something out on here.. that you arent able to express in verbal words to him..
thats why I think its good that dad reads your blog.. for the same reason.
Sunflower - Maybe you got your smarts from your Dad! :o)
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