You: Chapter 5 - HELP!

Consider this post all direct quotes. There are a few Connie-thoughts..but only a few.

Recognizing the problem [of believing lies that damage our self-esteem, whether by outside sources or internally] is just the beginning of the process of rebuilding a damaged self-esteem. The next step is when we turn to God and say, "I need help!" [It is then we realize] only God can effect real change in our lives.

Too often we don't stop to admit that without God we're lost on the journey toward a self-esteem. We want to forge our own future, carve our own path. We want to be autonomous, independent. Because of our pride and becasue we still think we know what's best for us, we want to kick God out of the control center of our lives. In short, we play God when we insist on controlling our lives.

The sad thing is, it often takes a crisis before we're willing to deal with our baggage. When we blow the test of temptation to be in control, the first thing we do is try some image control. We try so hard to camouflage our pain, but God uses pain as an alarm to wake us up to a problem. People try to cover and camouflage the hurt. They drink to numb it, eat to avoid it, smoke to cloud it, and snort to deaden it. They get angry and criticize others. But none of that works.

It is here that Young begins to write about the 4-F club that unlike the 4-H club, does not lead to better living. He states that when we fail to admit we've lost control, when we keep trying to run the show, we end up in this club. Similar to 4-H, the 4-F has four fundamental, destructive tenets. They are as follows:


Fear. If we pretend to be in control and comouflage our pain, we're going to have a lot of fear in this life. Many of us are afraid people might find out who we areally are. We wear masks to cover the fact that deep down inside, our lives are out of control.

Frustration. Note the words of David in Psalm 32:3-4: There was a time when I wouldn't admit what a sinner I was. But my dishonesty made me miserable and filled my days with frustration." (TLB)

Being unwilling to admit the mess we're in will only leave us frustrated. Think back to time when you have tried to take care of a certain area of your life without God's help. It is frustrating to say the least. After trying without success to be a little demigod, attempting sovereign rule over a universe called Me, I've realized why God is God and I am not. (This reminds me of a line from the movie "Rudy.")

Fatigue. Running away, hiding, covering up our baggage,or jumping from one fun fix to another will exhaust us, because we're not designed to run the show.

Failure. Proverbs 28:13 - You will never succeed in life if you try to hide your sins. Confess them and give them up; then God will show mercy to you. (GNT)Our culture's definition of success may be independence and self-reliance, but that's not God's definition.

[So how do we do it? How do we go about getting God's help? We need to confess and believe that God holds all the keys to true success.]


Just ask. Too many of us are in the same situation when it comes to issues of self-esteem. We think, I'll put off asking for help until next week or next year. I can control it. I can do it. To be honest, if we had the power to control it ourselves, we would have already reached the goal, right? We can't deal with all our baggage alone. We have to believe that Jesus Christ has the power to restore our lost sense of worth. Our self-worth actually comes from outside ourselves. If we will look to our help more closely, we will find it has a face, and that face belongs to Jesus.

The only way to reach our journey's ultimate destination -spiritually, emotionally, and relationally- is to believe that Jesus Christ has the power to heal us and change us.

Allowing Christ to effect real change in our lives requires a few actions on our parts. We must acknowledge daily that he knows about our problems and our pain. No one knows like Jesus. He collects our tears (Psalm 56:8). He listens to and has seen our troubles (Psalm 31:7).

He Cares. Jesus strikes the perfect balance between correction and compassion. He is the good shepherd who does not abandon his sheep. (see John 10:11-13) No matter how far we stray from the sheep pen, Christ will not abandon us. He cares. He will help if we ask.

He can do it. We also need to believe that God can change us and that He wants to. Ephesians 1:19 - I pray that you will begin to understand how incredibly great His power is to help those who believe Him. The word believe in this passage indicates having faith in, putting one's weight on, trusting completely. He can change us if we will allow Him to.

Accept His offer. God knows our past, our problems, and our pain. He cares about us deeply. He has the power to hange us. And He's offering His help and guidance. But we have to be willing to accept His help. God gives us the desire to change, and He gives us the power to change. It is time to say, "God, by faith I'm ready to make a change. Help me!" And He will do it.