My Life and Other Minor Events

Embarrassed?

2007-02-05T21:01:00.000-05:00

We all have them...those moments when we do something totally random and childish. Hm. Like standing behind someone and making faces at them when we think they can't see us.

Oh..but get caught in that childish act! What to do?? Well, we tend to freeze up for a moment and then attempt to hide. By "hide", I mean we laugh it off or pretend it never happened at all.

But we're adults now. At least we like to think we are. So, more mortifying than getting caught is the fact that we did it at all. What on earth would motivate us to do something like that?

I dunno.

Do you?

Happy New Year

2007-01-01T08:23:00.001-05:00

A few people still visit this site rather than my MySpace so I thought I'd post an entry here to bring those few people up to speed. 2006 was a pretty good year. It started very rocky but had a great ending so I guess it all balances out.

2007 is going to be very busy indeed! There are special events in every month of this year, June being the least busy. I've resolved to lose at least 10 pounds by early April so I can be svelte (yeah, right!) for my celebratory 25th anniversary cruise. And of course there is the wedding in August.

But the first event of 2007 looks to be a funeral. Last night, my step-father-in-law went Home. Rex was a good man who loved life. It had been a tough month for him but he enjoyed life up until his last breath.

It is my prayer that your 2007 is full of joy and pleasant surprises. Let go of 2006 and its disappointments and whatever you perceive as failures.

Instead, we need to allow our thoughts to rest upon the good things. We are blessed people. We need to remember that.

Butcher

2006-12-03T21:26:00.001-05:00

Nothing cures a person of loving Christmas music like hearing certain holiday songs done in an extremely poor manner. Collecting Christmas cds is an activity in which I have engaged over the years. I typically purchase one new cd per year, though the past couple of years I've made multiple purchases. Therefore, I have heard several arrangements of the same songs. Usually I am delighted with the different renditions.

Most people have "favorite" Christmas tunes, though it is rare that a person can name just one favorite. It seems nearly every recording. . .artist (term used loosely) . . . puts out a seasonal album. Not everyone can sing Christmas music well. Last week this truth was driven home to me twice.

The Bulldog has always liked the vocal stylings of Stevie Nicks. I've never been much on her, and after listening to her cut "Silent Night" to ribbons, my dislike only increased. Not only was the song done badly, and I mean badly, but she didn't sing the line, "Christ the Savior is born." Well what is the point behind the song .. Silent night, holy night...than to herald the birth of Christ?

Then there are The Temptations, who attempted the same song. They put the lovely carol through the meat grinder as well. First, it was sung in a falsetto, then in a deep bass that was never quite on pitch. And then there was the annoying, "sleep in heavenly peeeEEEAAAAAAACE," where people with very little vocal training slide up the scale while singing the word. On top of the nauseating slide, the vocalist came in just flat of the proper note.

I wonder how many of my Christmas cds do not include that song. I really don't have the stomach to hear it again anytime soon. It is a good thing my repertoire of Christmas music is a broad..and a mostly well-done one.

Gud 'Un

2006-11-29T22:33:00.000-05:00

He really is, you know. Yesterday I locked my keys and everything in my car the second I got to work. He left work on the northside of the county, drove home to the southside to get the spare key, came to me on the westside in order to get me into my car, and then drove back to the northside to go back to work.

When I got home yesterday he had run the vacuum. Earlier this week he spent some time at a friend's house trying to fix her water heater (it's ready for burial). Last night we talked about my upcoming trip. He offered to give me all of the money from the Christmas Club account - even though he is not going on the trip with me!

Rarely a complaint, almost always encouragement, unending support.

Yeah, I got me a gud'un.

(God has been good to me like that)

Happy Thanksgiving

2006-11-22T21:08:00.000-05:00

I'm a Lumberjack...

2006-11-21T11:18:00.001-05:00

As parents, situations involving our children often come to our attention whether we seek the information or not. Most of the time the circumstances come as no surprise to us. Still, we cannot help but shake our heads, roll our eyes, and think, "Here we go again!" When certain occurrences come crashing into our lives we wonder if past decisions we thought were so right were actually all wrong. Parenting is a game of footing, much like a lumberjack trying to keep his balance on a rolling log that is halfway submerged in a cold rushing stream. We fall off on a regular basis, get cold, wet, and discouraged, but something inside us forces us to climb back onto that blasted log and try again. Maybe -this- time we'll get it right...

...whatever "right" is.

Being Selfish

2006-11-14T13:40:00.000-05:00

People don't usually think of Jesus as selfish. Let's be real: He gave all there is to give and then some. How on earth would anyone ever say He was self-centered? Well, He wasn't. However, there were times when His actions could have been viewed as such.

When Jesus' cousin John the Baptist lost his life, what did Christ do? He left a multitude of people who needed Him and went off to be alone. Why? He was hurting. He was tired. Wonder how far off the mark it would be to say He was discouraged?

Selfish? No. Jesus was in need of healing, strengthening, and peace. There was one way achieve that: going off alone and thinking solely about Himself, if only for a few moments. When He was rejuvenated, He put Himself back in the game.

The death of John the Baptist is but one example of a time when Jesus separated Himself from others. What have I learned from His example? If Jesus Christ, the sinless and perfect Savior, took the time to be alone to nurse His wounds and heal, then it must be okay for us to do the same.

Near-Perfect Moments

2006-11-14T12:45:00.000-05:00

I just came back from the bank.
I was sitting at a stoplight and a breeze came by.
I was in the best place for it.
Leaves blew off the trees
and swirled around before landing on the ground.
It sounded all crackly and crunchy.
A 3 year old let go of her mommy's hand
to take a detour off the sidewalk
and shuffle through the leaves,
kicking them into the air with her feet.
It was one of those near-perfect moments.
And I needed it.

Asking Questions

2006-11-12T13:16:00.000-05:00

The asking of questions often adds complications to our lives. It is not so much the question being asked, but to whom the question is directed. Many times we choose the wrong person. Dare I say sometimes we wrongfully ask God when in all honesty the person we need to ask is ourselves.

The "Why am I here" question is like that. What truly matters is our own motive. Why do we do the things we do? Why do we put ourselves or allow ourselves to be put into certain situations? When we take the time to be still and examine our motives, a lot of the outside garbage is put into the proper place. Then, the problem that caused us to ask the question in the first place no longer exists. As usual, it is a matter of perspective. When we find our center, some things just don't matter anymore.

The lesson? Do all that is within our own power to do. The rest is up to someone else or to God. Most things really are out of our control. There is no reason to get upset about those things. In fact, there is no reason to get upset at all. Just do your best, keep your perspective, and let the rest go.

Great words. Wonder why they're so difficult to live by?

Green and East Carolina Football

2006-11-11T20:22:00.000-05:00

This is an email I sent to my Dad today.

I spent a lot of time counting money this past week. The dollars come in and it's my job to account for them. Several times while counting I would pause and think of Dad. I couldn't figure out why until Wednesday. The dark green on the bills reminded me of his winter uniform color. The leaves and scroll work reminded me of the other uniform embellishments of which I would take notice from time to time.

Today was Military Appreciation Day at Dowdy-Ficklen Stadium and over 4,000 tickets were donated by various individuals so those who are serving in our armed forces could attend the game at no cost to them. Just after ECU's Marching Band played their own very nice arrangement of our National Anthem, four F-15 Strike Eagles flew low over the stadium.

Call me sappy. Call me emotional. Or call me a patriotic fool. I really don't care how you classify it. Tears rolled down my face for a good five minutes after the fly by and I realized I had not yet written my yearly Veteran's Day email to Dad, so here it is. Whether or not the country agrees with the policies and procedures of the Commander in Chief of the hour, men and women from this nation serve our country for various reasons and I am proud to have known and be related to many of them.

It may be an overused addage, but freedom really isn't free. Perhaps one day people will stop taking that freedom for granted. Until then, I will remain thankful for those who served in the past, who are serving now, and will serve in the future.

I love you, Dad. And thanks.

Cruise Correspondence

2006-11-04T14:44:00.001-05:00

Between father & son.....

Pat,
I listed your cell number as the emergency contact
for when we are on our cruise so
they will call you if the ship sinks.
If the ship sinks or is bombed, please feed the cats and birds for us
:)

Dad,
I'll kill 2 birds with one stone (hah) and feed the
birds to the cats.
pat

I love my family!

Balanced Diets

2006-11-03T05:47:00.000-05:00

Living Doll

2006-10-31T20:14:00.000-05:00

Moxie is a nifty little boutique located on 5th Street in Greenville. The owner has managed to find people who use genuinely vintage material to design and make really cute items. There's this one particular red dress...

In all honesty, I have never been inside the store before tonight. But tonight a special occasion prompted my entry. Kiddo was in the store window as a live mannequin. Granted, there were 3 other girls. However, my kiddo, being my kiddo, was the cutest of them all. She wore green, black, and white. Her hair was teased up and pulled away from her face. And her make up was simply fabulous. The best part was her expressive face. When the mannequins would shift into a new pose, their faces would transform and I was transfixed.

It was fun to stand around for a few minutes and watch the faces of the people strolling or driving by. Only once I could not control the "proud mama" syndrome and casually mentioned to a total stranger, "The one in green is my daughter."

The one major bummer: I forgot my camera!

My Day is Complete

2006-10-24T14:45:00.001-04:00

I just tingled all over when chief meteorologist Phillip Williams walked into my place of business today! There he was with his smile, telling me he was visiting a certain classroom. I held myself in check, making sure I behaved as naturally as possible. The only mistake I made was peeling off the visitor's pass before writing his name on it, so it ended up sticking to the desk.

Oh my gosh! I can't believe I didn't ask for an autograph!!

They Just Seemed Too Old

2006-10-23T21:19:00.001-04:00

Jewels and I enjoyed the ECU Homecoming game this past Saturday. Just prior to the half we left our exposure to a blazing sun in our nosebleed seats in search of ice cream, dippin dots, snow cones...anything cold. After leaving one concession stand empty handed, I heard snickering from behind me. Turning back, I saw two teenaged boys. They had to be at least 14 but were likely older than that. They were quite tall, but had not yet filled out. Shrugging, I dismissed them and headed toward the kiosk that sold cold treats. Again, tittering reached my ears. I ceased my stroll and looked at Jewels. "Is there something on the back of my pants or something?"

Jewels looked slightly perplexed. "I don't know. I think they kicked something at you." After sliding her gaze downward she remarked, "Oh. There's a big grasshopper on your leg." Sure enough. He was a good sized fella! I guess the young men-like people expected me to scream and jump around like some sort of hispanic bean. Instead, I talked to the little critter, gently picked him off of my jeans, and held him out with my palm up. He did the rest, and I bid him a fond farewell as he sprang from my hand.

Jewels and I had fun, but those two boys just seemed too old to think something like that was funny. One would expect that from obnoxious male 10-to-twelve year olds.

A New Kind of Oz

2006-10-21T08:04:00.000-04:00

Using the Wizard of Oz to describe my former workplace was a no-brainer. The terrible Wicked Witch of the West vs. sweet, innocent (?) Dorothy was the perfect parallel, with its magical ruby slippers and the uncertainty about which yellow brick path to travel. But things changed. With the new worksite came a new kind of Oz. It is a kinder, gentler place. There are still days when I stand amazed and blinking, saying, "Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore." For first month I looked over my shoulder, expecting wrath from a nonexistent mistake of some sort. That never happened.Instead, I have been cast with a different set of characters. These characters are enablers of the best sort. They are also courageous, compassionate, and wise. Not only that, but the majority of the munchkins who dwell in this place are kind, helpful, and possess a wonderful sense of humor. Trading the old Oz for the new is something for which I am extremely thankful.

The (Ongoing) Current Read

2006-10-16T13:14:00.001-04:00

This is a book I have had to put down several times. The author writes well, despite his own complaints regarding his talent, but he makes my head spin! I have emailed a couple of excerpts to a friend of mine in hopes he will locate a copy and read it. My own copy is borrowed, long overdue to be returned to its owner. At any rate, I felt this worth a post.

I should add that this dissatisfaction with the conservative Protestant Jesus intensified just last Christmas when one of my children was home for the holidays from college. I asked him how he was doing spiritually.

"I'm struggling, Dad." he said.

"Tell me about that," I said.

He replied,"Well, Dad, if Christianity is true, then nearly everyone I love is going to be tortured in the fires of hell forever. And if it's not true, then life has no meaning." He was silent for a moment and then added, "I just wish there were a better option."

My heart was broken. I asked, "Is that the understanding of Christianity you got from me?"

He replied, "No, but that's the way most Christians think. They just kind of bottom-line everything to heaven or hell, and that makes life feel kind of cheap."

My son's insight doesn't apply to the best expressions of conservative Protestants, but it does, I fear, apply to often to the most popular ones. He put into blunt and powerful terms exactly what I felt vaguely and inarticulately when I was his age.

There are a couple of reasons why I need to stop putting this book down and read it from cover to cover.

This book is a loaner. I really need to return it to its rightful owner
I fear the impact of this book will be lessened if I read it in a piece-meal way.

Bread Day

2006-10-15T17:33:00.001-04:00

The songs at church today included 'bread' lyrics. "Lord of the Harvest" has a little vamp that goes like this:

You are my daily, daily bread...

And we did "Breathe,"

This is my daily bread...This is my daily bread...

It is no wonder that in the middle of singing I started thinking about bagels! There was a lack of breakfast this morning and even though it is supposed to be a bad food group, I absolutely adore bread.

So there we are, up on the platform singing about how we are desperate for God..how we are lost without Him - and I'm thinking asiago cheese! There was a quick shift, however. Along with asiago cheese, there are onion bagels, poppy or carraway seed bagels, cinnamon raisin bagels, wheat, sourdough, and many more. There is a type of bagel to please any palate, provided said palate will indulge in the evil carbohydrate that is bread.

And God? He's the 'everything' bagel. Ever seen one of those? Ever eaten one? It is an explosion of texture and flavor. Better, the "carbs" we get from our 'everything' God give us the energy we need without the quote-end quote empty calories!

Second service I actually saw bread. It was a large hunky slice of crusty bread, slathered thickly with sweet cream butter and dripping with honey. He's the bread. The butter and honey represented His benefits. Again, good for us - blessings to our physical, mental, and emotional health with no artery-clogging fat & frightful calories.

I think I'll go right on eating bread.

An Email

2006-10-14T08:01:00.000-04:00

I got this email yesterday. Just thought I'd share! :)

Subject: Cruise is booked.
No backing out now :)
I signed us up for the April 9th:
Monday, April 09, 2007
* Bahamas * 4 Days * Royal Caribbean * Sovereign of the Seas *
Late dining at 8pm
large table
Parasailing is a Royal Caribbean excursion so we will have to sign up for that one
Love ya oodles, happy anniversary.

(Another) Church Billboard

2006-10-13T11:23:00.000-04:00

"The heavier the load, the stronger the traction."

...what??

Irish Proverb

2006-10-12T12:47:00.000-04:00

(And extremely appropriate!)

It's hard to be a woman.

One must think like a man,

Behave like a lady,

Look like a young girl,

And work like a horse.

No Subject

2006-10-06T22:17:00.000-04:00

 She's like the wind through my tree
She rides the night next to me
She leads me through moonlight
Only to burn me with the sun
She's taken my heart
But she doesn't know what she's done  

A Worthy Read

2006-10-03T17:53:00.000-04:00

Since this blog is about my opinion I will be both blunt and brief. You should read this. It is a worthy read on many levels.

This Was Nice.

2006-10-02T18:20:00.000-04:00

It was quite a day for dad and I....scared silly to put it simply but....it was all worth it.

We got the cutest little curly headed baby girl that ever was.
You got cuter and cuter and cuter then so comical.
You made all of us laugh about so many little things....frowning at dad, pretending to smoke Uncle Jack's pipe....the list goes on and on.

Happy Birthday "speghetti [sic] face".

Much love from Mom and Dad xoxoxooxxxxoxx

*smiling through tears*

The Lion King

2006-10-01T09:29:00.000-04:00

It was one of those

awe-inspiring

incredible

impressive

enchanting

amazing

jaw hanging open

type of events.

That's all I can say.

Busy Day

2006-09-30T09:09:00.000-04:00

It is going to be a busy day. We will make our usual stop at Bojangles for breakfast. When I was bleary-eyed at 6:13 this morning and unwilling to start my day, I was thinking about breakfast. Sausage biscuit & grits. Break the sausage into the grits, eat the biscuit separately. 2 hours later when I got up that idea still sounded good. After breaking our fast, we will be off to our grocery establishment of choice. Should not have to get much due to the week ahead: full of activity - nearly every night this week! I'll worry about the waistline later...

Next on the list is helping Kiddo finish up her move out of the house. It happened suddenly and without much warning. *shrug* Oh, well. After getting her settled, we will be off to Raleigh. We've heard there is some sort of motorcycle rally/street party/festival taking place on the Fayetteville Street mall. We thought we'd check it out. Why not? We were planning to drive to Raleigh anyway for today's coupe de grace!

Andy was very generous and bought tickets for The Lion King. We'll be at tonight's performance. I'm so excited! We haven't been to a play in Raleigh since Kiddo was in 5th? 6th? grade? It is something I would like to do at least once a year. Funny how the years are slipping by....

There is but one problem: How does one dress for both a motorcycle rally and a traveling Broadway play?

~SIGH~

2006-09-25T19:04:00.000-04:00

Spare me the 'christianese' and help with some practicality.

How does one stop worrying about someone over whom there is no control?

How does one keep the frustration from taking over and putting blemishes & scars all over the relationship?

How does one stop hurting? The truth is there-still not grasped, still not understood or put into practice, causing more heartache, grief, drama-and screws up the existence of the ones who care.

How does one verbalize without being accused of judgmentalism?

How does one trust when there have been more lies than truth?

How does one get over wanting SO MUCH for someone who appears to want nothing for themselves?

I know we can't make a person care. What I want to know is how does one stop caring?

*~*sigh*~*

Query

2006-09-21T11:30:00.000-04:00

Why are they referred to as a "pair" of sunglasses? For that matter, why are they referred to as "they?"

Playing Catch Up

2006-09-21T07:42:00.000-04:00

There is a lot about which to write. The problem is time. There is never enough of it. The update will not occur anytime soon. Tomorrow morning I will be on my way to Miami. Stay tuned.

MY Celeb Look Alike!

2006-09-19T18:21:00.000-04:00

The Mommie Sense

2006-09-19T06:31:00.000-04:00

Kiddo has been very sick since Thursday. She hasn't been home, though. She has been at another house receiving the necessary TLC. Or at least that is what I thought.

I woke up at 1:05 this morning and couldn't go back to sleep. My mind wandered from songs we've sung at church, to Kiddo, to prayers, to work and back to songs again. I gave up on sleep around 2:15, telling God I needed to know what was wrong. Getting up, I slipped quietly out of my bedroom and stood in the dark hallway. Something wasn't right. There was no light coming out from under Kiddo's bedroom door. She always leaves a light burning when she isn't home. I thought maybe Andy turned off the light before he went to bed...but it just did not 'feel' right.

After taking a few more steps down the hall I realized Kiddo's door was open. When I peered inside I couldn't make out anything. There was a black lump on her bed that very easily could have been blankets. It was Kiddo. She was curled up in a little ball. I dropped onto the floor beside her platform bed and brushed my fingertips on her forehead, looking for fever. Her eyes fluttered open and we had some whispered conversation. I stayed with her until 4am and then made my way back to my own bed until the alarm went off at 5:30.

Why is this strange? Earlier Monday night Kiddo told the person she was staying with that she wanted her mommie. She wanted to go home. Around midnight they made moves to get her to her own bed. The person who drove her here asked, "Do you want me to call your mom and let her know you're coming?" Kiddo said, "No. My Mommie will know I am home and that I need her."

Shannon got home at 12:30am. And now you know the rest of the story.

You Know You Work in a Redneck Town When...

2006-09-16T13:55:00.000-04:00

You stand in line at the bank and see that along with the lollipops for the kids, the bank also supplies Milkbones for the dogs who ride around with their owners. Not only that, but there is a greater supply of the doggie treats than the kiddie ones!

Hrm...No Comments...

2006-09-14T21:19:00.000-04:00

I guess when I posted two days ago I was making the assumption that other people would be struck by the words of the nameless psychologist. There are others who could be considered psychologists that have said things along the same lines...

casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ

I have spread out My hands all day long to a rebellious people, Who walk in the way which is not good, following their own thoughts

Many times my untamed thoughts have led me astray. Even with the foundational words here - the solid advice about keeping our thoughts under control.

I know I am not the only person who has made the same mistake. Hopefully, I will not be the only person making a concerted effort to do better in this area of life.

<3

Now That's a Kicker...

2006-09-12T06:55:00.000-04:00

While it is true that I have been somewhat critical of Joel Osteen and his devotional entitled, Your Best Life Now, a sentence in the last paragraph of today's reading caused me to pause and reread. And reread. And reread. I wonder if the sentence will strike you as well.

"Psychologists are convinced that our lives move in the direction of our most dominant thoughts."

Don't pass judgment on that statement yet. Take a few moments to consider your life, some of the decisions you have made, and why you have made them.

**shudder**

The Class: Wasting Your Saturday, 101

2006-09-09T16:28:00.000-04:00

Objective:

Spend three hours taking silly online girly quizzes
Read the results
Decide which results to make public
Post!

Your Gemstone is Amber

Creative, happy, and logical.
You shine in any intellectual endeavor

What Gemstone Are You?

Okay so amber isn't what I consider a 'gemstone,' but I like what the silly quiz maker said about it!

You Are a Double Espresso

Hey Energizer Bunny Girl! Do you ever slow down?
You're a mix of high energy and ambition, perfectly matched with strong espresso
When you want something you get it - by any means possible
You're driven, determined, and no nonsense. Which is just how you like your java.

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

Espresso! Yeah, Baby!

Your True Sign Is Aquarius

Wacky
Rebellious
Cutting Edge
A Total Freak
Unconventional
Difficult to Predict
Breaking All The Rules
Independent and Inventive

What's Your True Sign?

So much for the 'balance' I am supposed to have by being a Libra!

You Are A Lily

You are a nurturer and all around natural therapist.
People see you as their rock. And they are able to depend on you.
You are a soothing influence. You can make people feel better with a few words.
Your caring has more of an impact than even you realize.

What Flower Are You?

Aw...Ain't that sweeeeeeeeet? *gag*

You Are 24% Girly

You are a pretty hardcore tomboy, and a very free spirit.
Gender roles be dammed, you like to do things your way.

How Girly Are You?

I like this one. It means I can write (and rewrite) my own rules. Meaning, I can be as girly as I want (or not)!

You are a Career Girl!

You may not be a CEO yet, but you're well on your way to success.
You take your career seriously, and you wouldn't stop working for any guy!
An independent woman, you pay for your own car, clothes, and housing.
And men appreciate that - at least, the ones as driven as you are.

What Kind of Girl Are You?

Eh. I think I'd rather be "Party Girl!"

You Are Fall!

Thoughtful
Expressive
Creative
Poetic
Smart

What Season Are You?

No surprise here. Autumn has always been my favorite season.

Your Aura is Blue

Your Personality: Your natural warmth and intuition nurtures those around you. You are accepting and always follow your heart.

You in Love: Relationships are your top priority, and this includes love. You are most happy when you are serious with someone.

Your Career: You need to help others in your job to feel satistifed. You would be a great nurse, psychologist, or counselor.

What Color Is Your Aura?

Blue is good.

Your Fashion Style is Girly

You dress to look beautiful and show off what you've got
Dresses, skirts, heels... whatever it takes to turn heads
You love feeling like a girl in any setting
Even your workout clothes are cute and feminine!

What's Your Fashion Style?

But I thought I was only 24% girly??

You Should Wear Charcoal

Cool and relaxed, you always look forward to the start of fall.
Gray represents your peace with the world and your surroundings.

What Fall Color Should You Wear?

Like blue, gray is good.

You are Betty Grable

The ulitmate girl next door
You're the perfect girl for most guys
Pretty yet approachable. Beautiful yet real.

What Famous Pinup Are You?

You Have Your PhD in Men

You understand men almost better than anyone. You accept that guys are very different, and you read signals well.
Work what you know about men, and your relationships will be blissful.

How Well Do You Understand Men?

Most PhDs take 8 years. Mine took 24!

Your Power Color Is Blue

Relationships and feelngs are the most important things to you.
You are empathetic and accepting - and good at avoiding conflict.
If someone close to you is in pain, it makes you hurt as well.
You try to heal the ones you love with your kind and open heart.

What's Your Power Color?

Blue? Again?

Your Passion is Purple!

You've got a ton of passion, but you don't always wear it on your sleeve.
If something truly excites you, you let your inner intensity shine through.
But otherwise, your passion tends to morph into energy ... which you never lack.
You're a balanced woman, knowing when to turn on the fire in your heart.

What Color is Your Passion?

I like this. I like this a lot.

You Belong in New York City

You're an energetic, ambitious woman.
And only NYC is fast enough for you.
Maybe you'll set yourself up with a killer career
Or simply take in all the city has to offer.

What City Do You Belong In?

Always knew I was a big city girl!

You Are Uptown

You are classy, cultured, and well educated. You are an expert on the finer things in life.
Your city girl persona loves all of the opportunities a city offers. But only in the best neighborhoods.

Are You Uptown or Downtown?

Make that an uptown big city girl.

You are a Romantic Realist

Okay, so you fall in the middle.
You know that love isn't like a greeting card...
Yet you can always find a greeting card to describe your feelings.

You are the best of both worlds
Girly yet independent, dreamy yet serious.
Almost any guy can find balance with you.

Are You a Romantic or Realistic?

This smells of being wishy-washy or indecisive. Oh yeah. That is me....

You are White Chocolate

You have a strong feminine side with a good bit of innocence thrown in.
Whether your girlish ways are an act or not, men like to take care of you.
You are an understated beauty, and your power is often underestimated!

What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

I don't even like white chocolate.

You Are a Natural Beauty!

You're the kind of beauty that every guy dreams about...
One that looks good in the morning - without a stich of makeup
That's doesn't mean you're a total hippie chic though
You have style, but for you, style is effortless

What Type of Beauty Are You?

I don't know about that "every guy dreams about" stuff...but I don't do a lot of make-up.

You Are a Sleek Black Bra!

Subtle, sophisticated, and classy.
You're not the first woman a man notices in the room...
But you're the one he remembers a week later.
You need a guy who will make a lasting impression on you too!

What Kind of Bra Are You?

This might be a little on the personal side, but it does describe my life. When I met Andy, I wasn't the first one he noticed. And now you know the rest of the story!

Late for The Open

2006-09-09T15:13:00.000-04:00

Yes, I am late with my predictions for today. However, it has not been a secret that I believed Federer would be in the finals. Restating a previously posted opinion, Roddick will also be there.

I was unhappy with Mauresmo's loss yeserday. This evening we will have what I hope will be the distinct pleasure of watching Maria Sharapova against Justine Henin-Hardenne in the ladies' final. The winner? Hard to tell. I'm going with Justine, but I have my doubts.

Oh yeah. Because Sharapova beat Mauresmo, I now owe a co-worker a banana. =/
I hope I can remember to take it to work on Monday!

Goodbye, James.

2006-09-08T06:15:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I hate it when I'm right.

With the exception of the second set, Blake fought hard last night. The problem is Federer is such a machine out there. The fact that he is ultra-talented is only part of his success. He is also a smart, quick-thinking competitor.

And so today brings the Ladies' Semi-finals. Henin-Hardenne vs. Jankovic, Mauresmo vs. Sharapova. What say I? The fighting miniature tiger that is Henin-Hardenne will win her slot in the finals. And so will Mauresmo. Sharapova has been falling apart slowly during these championships. Her serve failed her repeatedly during the Golovin match. Amelie, on the other hand, appears to be improving her play as she goes.

Oh. And I seriously dislike the fact that Sharapova's dad is coaching her from the stands. He eats a banana, Maria takes a bite or two. He drinks Gatorade, she goes for her "magic elixir." Coaching during a match is against the rules.

Mauresmo & Henin-Hardenne in the final.

On a side note, my success rate in the area of predictions has moved up to 70% overall.

Day Eleven

2006-09-07T06:30:00.000-04:00

Tournament play is winding down in Flushing Meadow. Today we will see one half of the Men's Quarter finals.

After taking out Safin, Tommy Haas meets up with Davydenko. Nikolay is one of those quiet players who has snuck through the draw. I like his chances today. Haas is a fighter, though. *sigh* Another potentially good match that I will miss. I will, however, be tuned into US Open live radio. But then, this match is the last of the big 11:00 starting block. Maybe I'll get a peek or two after I come home from work!

James, James, James. Even with the help of your infamous J-Block, I believe your tournament is coming to an end this evening. I do not pay attention to the odds makers, but it is my guess Roger is heavily favored to win tonight. I've not said much about Federer. Roger Federer is a graceful, intelligent, and powerful champion. Nadal has proven Federer can be beaten...just not very often.

Fifty year old Martina Navratilova is also playing today. She and her mixed doubles partner Bob Bryan have also advanced to the quarter finals. Like Andre, Martina is retiring (again) after this tournament. She is and has been an incredible athlete. I hope she goes out with a big win!

Oh! Andy Roddick took out Lleyton Hewitt in straight sets last night!

:o)

I see a Federer/Roddick final.

Commercial

2006-09-06T22:05:00.000-04:00

In the spirit of American television, I have decided to post a commerical. (or two)

Aslan promotes literacy.

He believes that reading is the key to opening up the world of possibility to all who engage in this worthwhile activity.

Okay, maybe I am stretching the truth just a little, but is that not the spirit of commercialism?

So maybe he just likes sitting in that empty spot. Still, literacy is very important and highly underrated.

So, read!

Oh wait a minute. You are reading.

Good for you. Don't you feel as though your life has been enriched?

**NEWSFLASH** The Lady's tennis predictions have netted her an overall success rate of 69%. She is highly dissatisfied but hoping to see improvement in the days to come

Luke advocates the protection of hearing by the use of reasonable sound levels.

As of now, there are no audio companies that manufacture kitty-ear plugs. This is a travesty!

Especially for those domestic animals who live in music-laden homes.

Homes where the man-figure plays cheap, disgusting, electric twangers.

Protect your ears. For hearing's sake, turn it down!!

Rainy Open

2006-09-06T06:03:00.000-04:00

The rains hit Flushing Meadow, New York just in time to hold the majority of my faulty projections at bay. As it stands now, my thoughts about Dementieva & Jankovic were wrong. And I do not mind one bit. Dementieva fell apart out there.

So what is up for today? You will find my projected winner in bold.

Safin vs. Haas
Davenport vs. Henin-Hardenne
Blake vs. Berdych (Still not certain about this one...at ALL!)
Murray vs. Davydenko (I do not change my mind mid-match)
Mauresmo vs. Safina
Youzhny vs. Nadal
Federer vs. Gicquel

And tonight's matches: (which I will largely miss due to choir practice)

Sharapova vs. Golovin
Hewitt vs. Roddick.

What? No bold? On my print out of the men's draw, I have Roddick in the winner's slot. The truth is I just don't know. These two duke it out on a regular basis. Neither are strangers to long 5 set matches, though Roddick's last match was much shorter. Roddick has been working hard on his game. Hewitt has mellowed since becoming a married guy with a baby.

GO ANDY!

Clay Did It..Why Shouldn't I??

2006-09-05T21:51:00.000-04:00

Your Learning Style: Innovative and Independent

You are determined and driven. Confident in your abilities, no field is too difficult for you.

You Should Study:

Astronomy
Biology
Chemistry
Design
Engineering
Philosophy
Physics
Political Science

What Should You Study?

Yesterday and Today

2006-09-05T11:26:00.000-04:00

So how'd I do with my predictions yesterday? Mens side: 6/10. Ladies: 5/8. Overall it is a mere 61%. Bleh! Ah, well. So goes the game. A couple of the wins were surprises.

And today?

Dementieva vs. Jankovic. What a surprise Jankovic has been! It is nice that the ladies' draw remains unpredictable. However, the whole point behind these US Open posts is prediction. Gotta stick with Dementieva. I agree with the talking heads that she is the most talented female player who has yet to win a major. Perhaps one day she'll get her serve straight. It may take Elena three sets to do it, but I think she will.

I was disappointed that Haas won yesterday. And being seeded 14th makes him the clear favorite in this match. Yet, Safin is playing like a man with a mission. He has the fire back in his eyes and he is an excellent hard court tennis player. Therefore, I am going against the odds. I believe Marat Safin will win this match up. Should be a very interesting time on the court between these two. And I have to work so I'll miss it!

Yesterday I mentioned the "purty" Berdych vs. Blake. (See how old the picture of Blake is?) Anyway, I am sticking by my original thought: Blake will take this one. But it won't be easy. (Go, James!) Have I ever mentioned the fact that I once taught a kid named James Blake? ...for two years!?

Okay, so the folks at the Open messed up my format by having Davenport facing the wrong way! Or maybe not. I think Lindsay is on her way out. This match will be another David vs. Goliath. And in this case, I believe David will prevail. Diminutive Henin-Hardenne is the more fit of the two players. Davenport has had to work harder. If I'm wrong, so be it. I like both players. For me, it's a win-win!

Murray can follow Davenport right out of the stadium. My, my, that sounded harsh, didn't it? Honestly, I am uncertain about who will prevail here. Davydenko is the veteran player. Murray has a brilliant career ahead of him. The question is whether he can handle the pressure of being on Armstrong stadium in the round of 16 at the US Open. We'll see, won't we? My original thought stands: Davydenko.

Federer vs. Gicquel. Yeah. No brainer. But Blogger wouldn't let me load any more pictures onto this page so I guess Federer will get a tribute from me later.

I Was Wrong, and I'm GLAD!

2006-09-04T21:27:00.000-04:00

Somebody Stopped Her!

Maybe it is just me, but I have a real problem with this woman. She comes and goes from the game in a whimsical fashion that shows a tremendous lack of respect for the sport. Why does she leave? What brings her back? Her athleticism is rarely in question. What I question is how she can just walk onto the court of Arthur Ashe stadium with a wild card and expect to win without working for it. After not having played for six months or more. I'm glad she lost tonight. I am not forgetting the tough loss of her sister a few years ago or the break-up of parents. Life hands people tough stuff. We deal. Harder to deal with it when you are in the limelight, sure. But it is the price one pays for multimillion dollar fame.

Her opponent has stuck with the game through injury, the shunning of her peers, & extremely unkind press. Seven years passed between her appearances in a Slam final - but she didn't just go away. She played on. Now I have to say the winner of tonight's match has not prepared as well as she could have. She played only two tournaments during this hard court season which makes me wonder about her fitness level. She tends to peak as she goes, but she's played some relatively rough matches already so her ability to recover comes into question. I do not know how much further she will go, but I like her style of play. Next time you have a chance, check out her backhand. It is poetry in motion.

Even with the questions I have in regard to the victor's chances of walking away with the whole enchilada, I was pleased with tonight's result.

The Open - Opinions Expressed HERE!

2006-09-04T10:25:00.000-04:00

As a side note to this morning's predictions, I feel compelled to mention the tennis world is too full of Spanish men and Russian women. WHERE are the Americans?? Most of the American players are aging & fading. We need some new blood and we need it NOW!

/end rant.

The Open

2006-09-04T10:13:00.000-04:00

Yes, it is true that I am tardy in bringing my predictions for the 2006 US Open into the light. I would apologize, but I feel as though I am the only one of my regular readers who really cares! Still, it is fun to put my money where my mouth is and see just how much I know about the world of tennis.

One thing I know is its unpredictability. Upsets happen all the time. A new era is beginning. Some of the more seasoned players are fading away while the younger ones are jockeying for position. And yes, Andre Agassi will be sorely missed. Though he is a mere six years my junior, I have watched this gentleman grow and change from "image is everything," to "is it just about winning more?" and finally into an articulate, gracious champion. Farewell, Andre.

Onto today. The game will be tough for the players over the next couple of days due to Saturday's complete rain out. The competitors are playing back-to-back matches, so those who have to fight a little harder are going to be more tired. Conditioning was never more important! Here's the line-up on the women's side: Kuznetsova (6) vs. Jankovic (19). While it is true Jankovic took out number 9 seed Vaidisova, I have to go with the seeding on this one and predict Kuznetsova.

Rezai vs. Dementieva (4). Rezai surprised everyone by taking out Kirilenko (20). And even though Dementieva doesn't have a serve (I declare it surprises her when she gets one in!), Dementieva will come out on top of today's match.

Schnyder (7) vs. Davenport (10). Sorry, Lindsay fans, she's had to work so hard to get to the round of 16 and she has a shoulder injury. Schnyder is playing extremely well. Schnyder in 3.

Peer (21) vs. Henin-Hardenne (2). This is a no-brainer, though I believe Peer has a bright future. The question here is, "Will Henin-Hardenne make it to the finals?" I honestly don't know at this point. She's strugging.

Serena Williams vs. Amelie Mauresmo (1). I really hate to say this, but I think Serena is going to take Amelie out. Mauresmo played just two tournaments prior to the Open and didn't do well. She looked flat yesterday while Serena has that, "I want to win" edginess to her play. I'm not saying she'll take the whole thing. I'm saying Serena in 3 today.

Razzano vs. Safina (12). Razzano's 10 seconds of fame are over. She took out Hingis in the second round. Safina is playing well. End of that story.

Sharapova (3) vs. Li (24). In other words, David vs. Goliath. Mutt vs. Jeff. Maria had an easy night last night. She looks pretty good. Sharapova over Li in straights.

Finally, Chakvetadze (23) vs. Golovin (27). I like Golovin. She tosses in some surprises when she plays. In this case I'm going to go against the seeding and give Golovin the win.

And now for the gentleman's draw!

Roddick (9) vs. Benjamin Becker. Becker is really causing a storm. He's blown onto the scene noticeably this season. Andy had to play a 5 setter yesterday, which isn't unusual for him. His conditioning is good so I don't think that will be a factor. I don't know if 2-3 months with Jimmy Connors as his new coach is enough time to make a real difference. I think Roddick has a problem with his mental game. While I'm not certain, I think he'll win.

Hewitt (15) vs. Gasquet (25). Hewitt also has a problem with his mental game. I like his firey attitude, though. Gasquet has done well this season. I don't know anything about these two fellow's head-to-head matches, though I seem to remember hearing Gasquet is a nemesis to Lleyton. I'm sticking with the seeds. Hewitt...no less than 4.

Robredo (6) vs. Youzhny. Mikhail Youzhny has been a surprise thus far in the tournament, but Tommy Robredo is going to stop him. Might take 4, but Youzhny's run is coming to an end.

Nadal (2) vs. Novak. Novak has also had a good run. It will end as well. Nadal is quickly becoming a favorite of mine. Yes, he is powerful. More importantly, he is humble and gracious. He is, in his uncle's words, "A good boy." Go get 'em, Rafa!

Gicquel vs. Federer (1). Nothing to say here. No reason to state the obvious!! (They'll play on Tuesday)

Also on Tuesday: Berdych (12) - ain't he purty? - vs. Blake (5). First, I think Blake's seeding is too high. Still, if the folks at Wimbledon can bend rules regarding their own, then there's no reason the officals at The Open can't do the same. Anyway, this is tough to call. Berdych is another of those surprising players. Blake is a sentimental fave with a lot of talent and is playing in his house. Blake. But it won't be easy.

Haas (14) vs. Ginepri (18). Ginepri is fun to watch. He'll win this one. I think.

Safin vs. Rochus (26). Going against the seed and saying Safin. He's played hard already, but I like his chances here.

Finally, also on Tuesday, Andy Murray (17) vs. Davydenko (7). Veteran vs. up and comer. Murray is good, but he's not ready, yet. Davydenko will have to fight hard, but I believe he'll come out on top of this one.

As for my success rate...Men's side - 12/19 or 63%. Women - 11/15 or 73%. Overall: 68%. Kind of low for me. Hopefully, I'll get better!

Thoughts for Today

2006-09-03T17:15:00.000-04:00

No matter where you go, there you are.
Meaning, you can't run away from yourself.

Troubles? Smart to look inside to see your own contribution to them.
Meaning, it is rarely all someone else's fault.

Tell the truth, the whole truth,
and nothing but the truth.
(Help us do it, God)
Meaning, half truths and outright lies are usually found out,
creating troubles (see above) and making it hard to live with yourself (see further above).

Some things are just going to have to be done by God.
We can't do it.

Bad relationships left alone get worse.

"A good name is more desireable than great riches." Proverbs 22:1a NIV

*EDIT*

"Failing at something doesn't make you a failure."

Just...Stop.

2006-09-01T11:04:00.000-04:00

Really.
I need the world to just...stop.
If only for a moment.
So I can breathe.
Get my bearings.
Heal.
Learn to shut up.
It shouldn't take long...
Just a lifetime.
*sigh*

The Sunday Post

2006-08-27T21:11:00.000-04:00

First Service:

He also brought me up out of a horrible pit,
Out of the miry clay,
And set my feet upon a rock,
And established my steps.
He has put a new song in my mouth—
Praise to our God;
Many will see it and fear,
And will trust in the LORD. Psalm 40:2-3

There is beautiful music within. Let it rise and spill forth. Join the heavenly choir. without the music I have put within you, something is missing. Without your voice, your personal music, there is a hole in the worship. A huge, gaping hole only you can fill. Why rely on the music without? The music within is custom designed for you. It is your perfect fit.

So what does all that mean?

The way I read Psalm 40, God Himself puts a new song in our mouths. Most likely happens at a moment of deliverance or salvation. If God puts the song in our mouths, it must be a tailor made custom design just for us.

If (and I do mean if) that is the case, then the music within us is a unique, one-of-a-kind tune. No one but us can sing it. This idea helps me understand why I have been having the thoughts I have nearly every Sunday. (See former posts)

Waiting and watching during a service rather than participating creates a hole in the service. Something is missing. Something only we can supply to the entire experience. I would not dare to say it is a sin to watch rather than do. I will venture a guess and say we miss something by not tapping into what already lies within us.

Week after week I stand on the platform and see people who appear tired and downhearted. My prayers extend to them and I can't help but wonder what would happen if they would realize what is inside. That beautiful, one-of-a-kind thing God has deposited into them.

And The Problem Is...

2006-08-26T22:05:00.000-04:00

Communication.

Ah, yes. The complicated two-way street that is fraught with potholes, poor patch jobs, and perdition. Be aware: Communication only works when two people (or more) are actively involved. When there is a misunderstanding, I would venture to stay that 99% of the time it is not a mismatch of the mind or intent. Rather, it is a miscommunication.

Perhaps we spend too much time assuming that the other party understands what we mean by our hint-giving. We all know what happens when we assume something! The truth of the matter is this: If we want someone to fully understand our requests, meanings, or feelings, we must be straightforward with them. If we want something, we need to be clear in our request making.

If we feel negative emotions, the mature thing to do would be to analyze the situation to see what part we ourselves may have played rather than laying the blame on someone(s) else. We need to be honest with others, but more importantly we need to be honest with ourselves. Communication does require at least two people. That means in any miscommunication, there are at least two parties involved. We need to ask ourselves, "What could I have done differently?" "What role did I play?" and, "How can I fix this situation now?"

Finally, for the sake of friendships, marriages, and cooperation, if a person asks you outright if they have offended you, please...by all means, open those lines of communication and solve the problem rather than perpetuating it by keeping silence and holding grudges.

There are times when we are wronged by the other person involved. It happens. Mostly it is unintentional, but it does happen. Maybe we are wronged. However, could we have done something differently to keep the situation from being blown out of proportion? If so, let us take responsibility for our own part to play and give the other person a chance to take responsibility for theirs.

In other words, we need to grow up and act like adults.

Starbucks

2006-08-24T18:05:00.000-04:00

Okay, so the picture doesn't show exactly what I want it to, but the point will be clear as I tell my story.

Yesterday Shannon and I were at Physician's East Urgent Care - which is another story. I was talking to my kiddo about her work shirt & how I'd like to wash it for her. At the same time, a lady came out of the back offices and said, "Why would I want to wash it? It is evidence!" I am certain I gave her my huh? what? look as I said, "Excuse me?" The woman, who I found out later is a nurse, repeated herself. Then she showed us her arm and said she'd been scalded by Starbucks coffee. She had 2nd degree burns on her arm and on her torso. And as she walked out of the office she exclaimed, "And they don't even have any caution signs up about their coffee being hot!"

Well, I lost it. I started hollering - but don't know if she heard me. All I could picture was this woman going off to sue Starbucks for not warning people about their hot coffee. I said, "What? You go to Starbucks for coffee and don't know it is going to be hot? What do you want? You want your coffee to be room temperature? WHAT?? "

Come to find out the old guy on crutches who came out of the office before her was her husband, also a nurse. Apparently, he fell off a roof! You know what I think? I think these folks are just clumsy. They need to stay home before they hurt somebody.

*posts blog entry while shaking head....Starbucks coffee. Too hot. Hmph!*

Hmm...

2006-08-23T10:40:00.000-04:00

This morning Andy mentioned that it doesn't take much to make me happy. I started thinking about that statement and this was my response:

No, It doesn't take much.
Space when I need it, though I may not tell you when.
Attention when I want it, but I might not say anything then, either.
Come with me to some of my "thingies," though I may not ask.
No, it doesn't take much to make me happy,
But that does not mean it is easy!

He Did It Again!

2006-08-22T08:59:00.000-04:00

Another sacrifice made by my teddy bearish bulldog. After a very hard day at work, he loaded up the trailer and helped my friend move some furniture. The furniture was large & bulky. It took my car and 3 others to get it all, but we did it in one trip. I can understand his sentiment about not wanting to move anyone for awhile ("Again" being "too soon"). I just had to post a thanks.

I'm telling you people: he is a good man!!

I'd Rather Be...

2006-08-22T07:54:00.000-04:00

No, I do not mean I want to be smelling the inside of a moccasin!

But sleeping ... making parts of the world go away...

denying my responsibilities for a little while....

Yeah. That is what I mean.

Who is with me!? Moccasin dwellers of the world, UNITE!

(untie?)

Look at This Man

2006-08-20T21:16:00.000-04:00

See this man? This is a good man. A very good man. Indulge me as I tell you about this man's weekend. Friday, he mowed the lawn in order to free up his weekend. So. How was his "free weekend" spent? On Saturday, he fixed Kiddo's laptop, formatted the Dell, washed and waxed my Vue, raked the yard, and took me & Kiddo & Kiddo's significant out for dinner. Does that sound like what you would want to do on your Saturday? Well...let us take a look at this man's Sunday:

Up early to play in the band at church both services. Home to fix and hang a lantern in Kiddo's room. Finish the Dell's format. Off to Lowe's to get the necessary items to safeguard the (newly acquired) birds from the cats. Begin practice for next week's song list at church. Called his mother.

This man makes sacrifice after sacrifice for his family. No wonder I love him.

2006-08-20T15:21:00.000-04:00

Treadmill

Hate going to the gym? Maybe learning this routine will make it more interesting!

To Whom is He Speaking?

2006-08-20T13:29:00.000-04:00

This Sunday during the first service's worship, I heard more of the same:

Why are you waiting?

The water is troubled.

The time is now.

Why are you waiting

For something to happen?

What you need is inside you.

Tap in and make it happen.

My question is...just what is "it?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Second service was different.

We were singing a song our worship leader wrote entitled "Holy Are You." It is a simple but beautiful and heartfelt song. People responded by spontaneously walking up to the altar to pray. Admittedly, I also became lost in the song and the meaning behind its lyrics.

While 'lost,' I saw gold boxes wrapped in deep purple ribbon. They were different shapes & sizes and were piled up at the feet of a faceless Someone. When I asked about the gold presents, I had the thought that He (sometimes?) sees our act of worship as a gift for Him. These boxes .. gifts... were so lovely, anyone would have wanted a present wrapped like that. And that's when I had the thought - as lovely as these boxes were - that is how beautiful our true, heartfelt worship is to Him.

"And that's all I have to say about that."

Things Not Considered

2006-08-18T22:02:00.000-04:00

Actually, that isn't entirely true. I did consider the fact that my job change would result in missing my friends at the former workplace. Now that the teachers have gone back to work the lack of an easy rapport with co-workers is glaringly obvious. Seeing that rapport among the staff at my new location hasn't helped. Not that they aren't friendly toward me. They have been very welcoming. But I'm a stranger. We are in "observation" mode. I'm being gauged. I can't blame them since I am doing the same thing in regard to them.

That has been the most intriguing thing about my job change. People watching is one of my favorite activities. Now that I am at a place that has three times the staff, there is much to watch and learn! However, observing my new co-workers has done very little to ease the pain of missing the former ones.

I know my feelings of isolation will pass with time. Wonder how fast the time will pass?

Hello Goodbye

2006-08-15T09:31:00.000-04:00

You say goodbye, and I say hello...

Pat's move is complete. There are a few left over shirts & items in the refrigerator that belong to him, but that's all.

Shannon's move back in is also mostly complete. At least, I think so. Her furniture is in the room. Posters & prints she intends to hang are on the floor. Clothes are piled up in the closet and empty hangars are on the rack. But I haven't seen her, yet.

Last night Pat and Julie came for dinner. I had not seen them since last Wednesday so it was nice to be in their company. We ended up moving the washer/dryer & the rest of the things out of the storage unit into Pat's townhouse. It really is a sweet little place that has GOBS of storage! Pat appears to be settling in and seems happy.

That's all I want for my kids. Happiness.

Field of Geese

2006-08-14T07:58:00.000-04:00

While driving to work this morning I happened to look to the right at the perfect time. A freshly havested field was covered with grazing geese! If I have done my research correctly, they were Canadian geese. I guess summer is just about over up there. For some strange reason, seeing the geese made me feel very happy and I thanked God for the opportunity to see them.

Feeling Better

2006-08-06T12:36:00.000-04:00

My therapist told me a way to achieve inner peace was to finish things I had started. Today I finished two bags of potato chips and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.

Backbone

2006-08-06T08:53:00.000-04:00

In his personal life Edward Paxmore had discovered that a man lived best when he maintained some central belief upon which he could hang all action and to which he could refer all difficult moral problems; he was then vertebrate, with a backbone to sustain him, and he had observed that men and women who failed to develop this central belief wandered and made hideously wrong decisions because in time of crisis they had nothing to which they could refer instantaneously. He had found his backbone in obedience to God, in the simplest form possible and with the most direct access.

~James A. Michener
Chesapeake

Better Late Than Never

2006-08-05T22:02:00.000-04:00

Patrick knows his mom. This past Christmas he gifted me with this nice leather bound edition of J.R.R. Tolkien's The Hobbit. I am one of those who was a huge fan of this writing many years before the trilogy of movies. And before the animated "The Hobbit" movie. I've not yet read it, and it has been decades. It is, however, on my (long) list of pending reads.

Today, Pat started cleaning out his closet in preparation for his move. He knocked on my bedroom door and presented me with a leather bound edition of The Lord of the Rings! He intended to give the book to me for Mother's Day but forgot he had it. (I got a huge bouquet of flowers instead.) There are still mixed feelings about his move, but when he gave me this book one feeling temporarily shone through all the others: I felt loved.

He Has the Keys

2006-08-04T14:43:00.000-04:00

And I don't mean "death, hell, and the grave."

Pat signed a lease and picked up the keys to his townhouse today. Naturally, my feelings are mixed. Of course it is time for him to be on his own. Of course I am going to miss him. It is not as if he is moving to another county or something, but I feel as though I will not be seeing much of him.

Perhaps it is time for the re-advent of the Thursday Family Dinner.

:o(

Yes, We are Weird

2006-08-04T12:49:00.000-04:00

Why? Why do I not run a fever when I am sicker than sick? And why did this strange trait get passed on to my children?

This morning was spent sitting in the ED and then in my regular doctor's office. Shannon called around 5:50am in pain and in tears. After a 3+ hour wait, we learn she has a raging urinary tract infection that is moving to her kidneys. What was her temperature? 97.2. She's probably been walking around with this thing for a week or more but didn't know she was sick until she started experiencing real pain.

All is well, though. She is sleeping by now and the mammoth-dose antibiotics will have kicked in by tomorrow morning.

Can You Spot the Error?

2006-08-03T08:05:00.000-04:00

(and I don't mean grammatically)

"Still more years went by, and no child. Finally, Sarah became pregnant. What changed?"

"I'm convinced that the key to the promise's coming to pass was that Sarah had to conceive it in her heart before she was able to conceive that baby in her physical body. She had to believe she could become pregnant before she actually became with child. It was nearly twenty years from the time God spoke the promise to Abraham and Sarah until the time Isaac was born. And I believe the main reason he wasn't born sooner, one of the major delays in the fulfillment of the promise for year after year, was simply the fact that Sarah couldn't see it through her eyes of faith."

This really bothered me when I read it this morning. Wonder if the same thing strikes anyone else?

When I Say I Am a Christian...

2006-08-03T06:10:00.000-04:00

A close friend emailed this little poem to me. I am not overly fond of little 'Christian' sentiments, but this morning the poem struck me. I wanted to shout "YES!" But it is 6:00am and the energy I would expend to shout anything is just too precious right now. *S*

I hope this says something to you:

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I am saved"
I'm whispering "I get lost!
That is why I chose this way."

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need Someone to be my guide.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
and pray for strength to carry on.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
and cannot ever pay the debt.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
my flaws are far too visible
but God believes I'm worth it.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain
I have my share of heartaches
which is why I seek His name.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I do not wish to judge.
I have no authority.
I only know I am loved.

~Carol Wimmer

Scrambled Eggs

2006-08-02T07:34:00.000-04:00

From Joel Osteen:

"My life is so messed up. You can't unscramble eggs."

'No, but God can take scrambled eggs and make an amazing omelete.'

Just a Little Giggle..

2006-07-31T11:53:00.000-04:00

..well, it strikes me as funny...

Strange it took me a week to realize it, considering I drive past it twice everyday during my commute time...

Does anyone else think it amusing that Pleasure Ride Auto is right beside the Silver Bullet?

YaaaaY!

2006-07-30T19:47:00.000-04:00

When it comes to staying in contact with my family, I leave much to be desired. It is not that I do not have a deep love for or a strong sense of family. On the contrary ~ the fact that we are not in close contact is a source of sadness in my life. I guess I have basically given up. Long emails I write get two sentence replies if I'm lucky. With one member of my family, I can make every kind of effort available but it makes no difference.

The purpose behind this entry is not to garner sympathy, pity or compassion. The motive is this: my sister called me today. Sure, sometimes we allow long periods of time to go by without contact, but it isn't that we are second guessing each other, or afraid of reactions to an email or a comment. We just get busy. After a long conversation I felt reattached to at least that part of my family.

And we made a deal: Everytime we think about calling or emailing and don't do it, we have to put a quarter in a jar. We figure at our rate, it will be no time at all before we have enough money to purchase a plane ticket!

I love my sister.

It is All Ben's Fault!

2006-07-29T21:46:00.000-04:00

He MADE me take this test!

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Accommodation	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Interdependence	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Intellectual	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Mystical	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Artistic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Religious	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Hedonism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Materialism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Narcissism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Work ethic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Self absorbed	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Conflict seeking	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Need to dominate	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%

Romantic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Avoidant	\|\|\|\|	16%
Anti-authority	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Wealth	\|\|	10%
Dependency	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Change averse	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Individuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Sexuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Peter pan complex	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Physical security	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Physical Fitness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	44%
Histrionic	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Paranoia	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Vanity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Hypersensitivity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Female cliche	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	83%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

The trait snapshot is intriguing. It is very contradictory, which describes me almost perfectly!

self revealing, neat, craves attention, prefers organized to unpredictable, needs things to be extremely clean, worrying, perfectionist, emotionally sensitive, respects authority, social, vain, does not like to be alone, likes large parties, controlling, social chameleon, not a thrill seeker, enjoys leadership, takes precautions, puts the needs of others ahead of their own, assertive, rule conscious, makes friends easily, always busy, heart over mind, phobic, aggressive, clingy, compassionate, dominant, outgoing, suspicious, hard working, strong

Happiness Is...

2006-07-28T21:39:00.000-04:00

...being at your new workplace.

What can I say? My first week was overwhelming and at times a little scary. Every day discoveries were made. Things I will have to learn and master within the next 3 weeks. The interesting thing is the pace. (Easy) The atmosphere. (Light-hearted) The genuine liking everyone seems to have for everyone else. In fact, one person I met yesterday said that very thing: "You will be happy here. We like each other!"

A multitude of faces and names have crossed the threshold of my office. Recalling them all is a challenge I am not yet ready to face. But they all smiled. They all welcomed me. I think this move is going to work out just fine. Already I've figured out one thing God can teach me here - to be more laid back, less intense. That won't be an easy lesson, but I am willing to learn!

Blessings.

Wow...

2006-07-24T22:06:00.000-04:00

It was quite a day.

Now I Remember!

2006-07-23T22:19:00.000-04:00

I do! I remember one of the reasons I stayed away from MySpace!

And So it Ends...

2006-07-20T07:46:00.000-04:00

I have just begun my last day at my current workplace.
Someone told me I should toss some water on the
Wicked Witch of the West as I am walking out the door.
That sounded like a great idea last week.
Today, I am singing a different tune.

** later **

I think about the ones I love who are still here...
and know that God has a plan for them, too.
He is the Master Conductor of His worldwide orchestra
and somehow the tune always turns out sounding beautifully.
Like Mozart's complicated compositions,
I cannot begin to comprehend,
but I can listen and enjoy the music He creates.

True Love Demonstrated

2006-07-17T22:09:00.000-04:00

You know it is true love when your reserved and highly introverted husband will not only take you to Kinston Indian Ball Games, but will also sing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" during the seventh inning stretch.

You know it is an everlasting true love when the same husband will, also during the seventh inning stretch, do the Chicken Dance with you. :o)

The Building was Nearly Full...

2006-07-17T06:30:00.000-04:00

...why did it seem so empty?

During praise & worship yesterday morning I became aware of what a lot of people in the congregation were feeling. There were a lot of heavy hearts. Some felt shell-shocked. Others were just plain tired.

The sad thing was as I was hearing God say, "Fear not, little flock," I saw the people standing around waiting for something to happen. Why? For two weeks now I have had the impression that God really desires for us to reach. stretch just a little. grasp. and step in. We don't have to wait for something to happen. The "something" is within us! If we would reach, step in, etc, the something we want to have happen would start within. Then we would see it manifest without.

The fatigue & downcast feelings would fall off if we could realize He is already in our midst, and inside of us. He is willing and able to meet our every need. Dare I say above what we can ask or think.

Later, during the sermon, Pastor John mentioned this same Power that has been deposited into our lives that remains untapped. This Power (the Holy Spirit) gives us the 'edge.' If we do not tap in, it leaves us to our natural resources only. He said it was much like having a swimming pool in the backyard but never getting in it. We can't experience the refreshing He has for us - the power, the knowledge, and the ability to rise above our circumstances - if we never get in the water.

What a concept: Coming to church already full - having stepped into His living water so that it is flowing out of us when we gather together to worship. He is with us always. He wants to be more active in our lives. When we will let Him? Imagine what it would be like to walk into service with our hearts and lives full. Our church services would be full as well. From the first chord that is struck on the first song.

Just imagine it.

Journey

2006-07-16T21:46:00.000-04:00

It was an interesting drive to say the least.
It was well guided and protected from start to finish.
It was but one leg on
An increasingly intriguing expedition through life.
And on this voyage I am not alone.
There are others who seem to be encountering the same:
Fascinating occurrences that make one pause
To consider the path upon which they tread.
And this is just the beginning....

Knock Three Times

2006-07-12T15:37:00.000-04:00

Admitting Aslan is not the smartest feline in the fold is not a problem for me. He can push a door open. Even the heavy swinging one that separates the kitchen from the laundry room. (But only on the way out, not on the way in.) He is not, however, good with his hands. Therefore, he has not mastered the art of pulling a door open. And of course when a door is completely shut he is totally powerless to get in (or out).

Yesterday Andy and I were in our room with the door closed. I thought I heard 3 knocks on the door but was not certain so I ignored it. After a short pause it happened again. No mistaking it this time: someone was knocking on the door. Upon opening the door I saw Alsan sitting in the hall perpendicular to the door and gazing up at me with his big amber-colored eyes. "Did you knock on the door?" I inquired. This is no lie: he looked around - behind him and everything - and then looked back at me as if to say, "Do you see anyone else sitting here?" before striding into the room and jumping onto the bed.

Synonym for Surrender

2006-07-11T22:23:00.000-04:00

You bore the stripes
That made me whole
And spilled the blood
That cleansed my soul
And all You ask is that
I give my life to You.

So I surrender me to You.
It's the only thing I can do.
For the love that proved itself so true.
I surrender me to You.

If you ever wonder how you can truly show someone that you love them and love them as unconditionally as is humanly possible, let me make a suggestion: Surrender to them. When it is vitally important, sacrifice yourself for them. In fact, surrender sometimes when it is not at all significant.

Everytime we sing that song at church I think about Christ's sacrifice. I guess that's a good thing ~ after all, that is the song's intention. The song drives home the fact that Christ's sacrifice was in the area of surrender.

Nevertheless not my will, but Your will be done.

Do you not know I must be about my Father's business?

But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also.

Surrender is not about being a doormat. It is about treating others the way you want to be treated. It is about loving your neighbor as yourself. And we really must get off this kick about how we do not love ourselves. How many selfish acts do we perform each day? Why do we perform them? Self-love. Wanting to be first. Wanting to be provided for and taking measures to ensure its happening.

When done with the proper motive and the purest possible heart, a fabulous synonym for surrender would be....

love.

Is Obedience Synonymous with Faith?

2006-07-09T21:33:00.000-04:00

Skin cancer runs in my family. My mother continues to have lesions removed even though she has severely limited her exposure to the sun for the past 10 years or so. My brother is permanently disfigured due to letting a cancerous growth take over a large portion of his face. And I've had two removed. The removal of a third was imminent until something happened.

The growth popped up a few months ago. At the time I wasn't certain what it was. It was on the back of my right hand, snuggled nicely between two prominent veins just beyond my index finger. About a month ago the spot started to grow. Quickly. And it itched like mad. Cancer, without a doubt. By last Sunday, the growth was probably six times its original size. I got worried. Having another skin cancer removed just did not rank all that high on my list of thrills, ya know? Besides, I didn't know how difficult it would be to remove, given its location.

Last Sunday, July 2nd, while in the choir and singing for praise & worship, that stupid spot started itching. It was driving me crazy! Finally, I complained to God. (*gasp!* Go figure, complaining to God!) He said something that sort of shook me up.

"Speak to it."

*Looks around* Huh? What did You say?

"Speak to it. Tell it to dry up and go away."

Now, I don't know about anyone else, but I've always had a problem with this speak to it thing. I have always believed God heals. I've always known the possibility exists. "Speaking" it seemed to be carrying it a little too far. Or perhaps it was more of a "that works for others but not for me" type of thing. Now, don't go into that "God is no respecter of persons deal" - that really isn't what this post is about.

I got home from church and pointed at the stupid itchy growth with the other index finger and told it to dry up and go away. Every time I got out of the shower or felt it itch, I repeated the words, "Dry up. Go away." Sometimes I included the Name of Christ. But not always.

By Wednesday the 5th, the skin cancer had shrunk back down to smaller than it was when I first noticed it. An itch or two here and there - but nothing much.

This afternoon I looked at it. It looked really dry. It had the appearance of a scab, but was not dark in color. Using the thumbnail of my left hand, I applied a little pressure to it. And it just .. came off. No pain, no bleeding, nothing. It's just...gone.

When I heard God tell me to speak to the skin cancer, I did not really believe anything would happen. However, I spoke to it anyway. (Let's be honest: there are many other things to which I would rather speak!) I was obedient for once. And now it is gone.

And so I ask the question: Is obedience synonymous with faith?

New Seasons

2006-07-09T16:52:00.000-04:00

"New Seasons" come through storms. First, the air is heavy and oppressive. There is a sense that something is on the horizon. Then, a restless breeze begins to blow. This breeze increases into a wind that shakes leaves and ruffles feathers.

When the rain comes people are usually relieved but the rain of a new season has a purpose. This rain washes away grime, even to the eroding of certain poorly laid foundations. The rain also saturates the good ground in order to nourish and protect because...

...the fire will fall. Whatever is not washed away through the cleansing water of the rain will be burned up in fire. It is a frighening and sometimes painful experience. But when the smoke clears, the New Season comes.

And so we wait it out, our nose to the grindstone.
We continue to work at it until the fire falls, signifying completion.

....and the breakthrough comes.

Silly Quizzes

2006-07-08T15:45:00.000-04:00

I took this one. Funny how it turned out. Interesting pic, though!

You scored as Cultural Creative

Cultural Creatives are probably the newest group to enter this realm. You are a modern thinker who tends to shy away from organized religion but still feels as if there is something greater than ourselves. You are very spiritual, even if you are not religious. Life has a meaning outside of the rational.

To me, this was the most interesting statement:

Religions have lost their focus and should be returned to their founding principles.

On the Verge

2006-07-08T08:03:00.000-04:00

Do you ever feel as though you are at a crucial moment in your life? That just beyond your grasp is a concept, a knowing, that hangs out in the misty edges of your mind waiting to materialize? That feeling has been with me for quite awhile. Still elusive, it is becoming somewhat frustrating to me.

I often laugh and mention to people that God keeps our lives intriguing in order to keep our interest. That there are always more questions than answers. I have a sneaking suspicion it will always be this way. But then, how does one obtain knowledge without pursuing it?

Perhaps our finite minds can't handle the answers so they are not provided. Clay, I believe, is much further along than I am in the area of questions. This is not surprising. My mind is much more finite than his! Strange things have been happening to my friends and acquaintances. All of their recent experiences are coming together in my mind to form this one dare I say "Scriptural" notion:

All you need is love.
All you need is love.
All you need is love, love.
Love is all you need.

My heart is full of the desire to give. At the same time, my mind is splitting wide open with the realization that to love and be loved means trust and total honesty. . .

I think it is time for breakfast. Birthday cake. Yeah. Birthday cake.

Twenty-two

2006-07-07T06:32:00.000-04:00

Today is Pat's birthday.
Almost impossible to believe
He is 22.

It has been quite a ride.
But I wouldn't change a thing.
I love you, son.

Looking Beyond Where You Are

2006-06-30T01:05:00.000-04:00

Rarely have I been so moved or inspired by a daily devotional book. I want to thank my friend (again) for giving it to me. Here is what I gleaned from today's readings:

Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Does that sound at all familiar? Let me remind you:

Forget about what's happened; don't keep going over old history.
Be alert, be present. I'm about to do something brand-new. It's bursting out! Don't you see it? There it is! I'm making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands.

Too often we become accustomed to the status quo. We refuse to make room in our own (?) thinking for the new things God wants to do in our lives. I questioned "own" thinking because I know how easily we are influenced by the thoughts and teachings of others. It is far too easy to just accept what we hear from the pulpit or read in a book. I believe this is the status quo Osteen is talking about.

What are we doing when we accept the status quo? We are limiting God. And we need to stop. People feel safe when they have boundaries; a set of rules to follow and lines they daren't cross. People like living in a box. That is okay for people, but how can it possibly be okay for God? We have limits. He doesn't!

Osteen says God can give us a fresh dream. In order to see it, we have to be daring. We have to let go of our limited thinking. We need to dare to venture out. In Osteen's words: "God can show you more but you have to get out of your little box."

Being enclosed in our usual comfortable environment is all we've ever known. It has provided us with a certain level or way of thinking. AND it makes us complacent, which keeps us living in mediocrity. We keep ourselves there by doing things we've always done: Reading the Bible and other materials with the same mindset we always have, accepting the doctrine of our parents and our parent's parents without researching for ourselves, and keeping ourselves bound up in the 'rules' of the day.

I want to encourage you as I encourage myself. God wants us to go further. He wants us to break out of the mold. He doesn't want us to settle for what our parents or other spiritual leaders had. Christ was all about freedom. Let's go out and find it.

(by the way, I got the job.)

Not a "Dumb Jock"

2006-06-29T06:57:00.000-04:00

Actually, this is really smart thinking:

Interested

2006-06-27T18:09:00.000-04:00

I really wasn't going to say anything. Honest, I wasn't! I'm about to bust, though. Trying to not be hopeful is against my nature. It is just that the last time I got hopeful about something I suffered a huge disappointment.

What on earth is she talking about???

Early this morning I received an email from a principal at a high school in Pitt County.This is all it said:

I have an opening for a bookkeeper. Call me if you are interested.

I have a job interview tomorrow evening after work.

The Other German Named Becker

2006-06-27T15:00:00.000-04:00

There were only a couple of upsets today at the All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club. This unseeded gentleman defeated his unseeded opponent. I can see you squinting at his picture thinking, "Who is he?" For me, it went a little differently. I saw his name first. "B. Becker," the online live scoreboard said. Becker? BORIS BECKER?? No way!

Yep. No way. This is Benjamin Becker. He does hail from Germany, but that seems to be the only other similarity. Granted, I have not seen him play. Perhaps he has the same serve/volley style that Boris sported.

Benjamin has won a whopping $40,000 in prize money this year. I guess when it comes to sports I have the "overpaid athlete" mindset. The $40k showed me this young man has had a rather unremarkable career thus far. I found myself thinking, "Only forty thousand?" ONLY? What did I mean by only? I have never made that amount of money in one year. Chances are good that I never will. The overpaid athlete soap box is one upon which I climb regularly. So what happened? I really need to get ahold of myself. It is okay to be a coffee snob. I do not mind having that label. But tennis snob?

Monday Morning's Musings

2006-06-26T18:52:00.000-04:00

Missing the intended point is becoming a habit. It seems I cannot get past Osteen's daily Scripture reading without stopping to consider what the Scripture is saying to me. After furiously scribbling down my thoughts, I turn back to the book. Sometimes my ideas do align with the author's. Today was kinda-sorta one of those days. Check out the last half of today's reading:

Nor do they put new wine into old wineskins, or else the wineskins break, the wine is spilled, and the wineskins are ruined. But they put new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved. Matthew 9:17

How many times have we heard people teach about or ask for "new wine?" Guess what? That is the wrong idea! What we need is for our wineskins to be renewed so that we can handle the new wine God wants to pour into our lives. Our hearts and minds need to remain in a state of readiness. Otherwise we become old, dried out, and unable to stretch. We become obsolete and unusable. Ouch.

The passage also made me think about generations. The Christian generation before mine seemed overly stiff. There were rules and expectations that I thought were overly drastic and led to bondage. The same is now true about my generation. The current generation moves more freely. They've fought hard (not always intelligently, but hard) to shake off bondage my generation tried to place upon them.

The thing about new wineskins is that they are pliable and have elasticity. This concept provokes me to more thought. Unfortunately, the thoughts are not yet complete. Osteen put it this way:

God will not pour fresh creative ideas and blessings into old attitudes.

Osteen's premise is that now is the time to experience the best God has to offer our lives. He is big on positive thought process and faith. I can deal with that. If Osteen is on the money and God wants this to be the best time of our lives, then we need to be on the lookout for possibilities. We need to perceive, discern, downright see what is out there for us. I like the way The Message translation quotes Isaiah 43:16-21:

This is what God says, the God who builds a road right through the ocean, who carves a path through pounding waves, The God who summons horses and chariots and armies—they lie down and then can't get up; they're snuffed out like so many candles: "Forget about what's happened; don't keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I'm about to do something brand-new. It's bursting out! Don't you see it? There it is! I'm making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands. (emphasis mine)

What positive things have you been seeing lately? Just yesterday I had something happen that made me pause and consider some of the blessings in my life rather than the 'down side.' I mentioned to a member of my church's band that I'd played guitar in order help Andy with something but that I couldn't play for very long before the old aches and pains showed up. I also said I miss playing guitar and that I really want to be able to play again. He said, "Yeah, but you have this!" And he indicated my throat - meaning a (passable) singing voice.

When I didn't say anything, he continued: "so use the voice for God's glory now, and believe Him for your hands for later!" Well, as a member of the choir that is what I am doing. I never really put it that way. Heck, I never really thought of it that way. But it sure is the more positive outlook, isn't it? This person's encouragement meant a lot to me.

This is the prayer Osteen wrote for the end of today's devotion:

...Help me get rid of those old attitudes that would limit my vision and cause Your work to be stifled in me.

My beliefs run just a little differently, but the sentiment is the same:

I am choosing to let go of the old attitudes that would limit my vision....

After all, I don't want to be stale. Or brittle. Or stifled. Do you?

Wimbledon!

2006-06-26T09:15:00.000-04:00

If you follow my blog closely then you know I am a tennis fan. Today, after a typical rain delay, Wimbledon '06 began! My predictions are usually saved for the second week of action so stay tuned. And play is suspended right now because of rain. *happy sigh* There is comfort and security in predictability.

Smallness is Okay

2006-06-25T12:16:00.000-04:00

I am not much

But I am

All I have to give.

I am not much

But You can make me

So much more....

No-Fund Frills

2006-06-24T12:17:00.000-04:00

Everyone understands the concept of living on a budget. Whether or not everyone actually sticks to their budget is another story! Because there is a theory about keeping oneself answerable to others in order to live successfully, I have decided to post my dilemma for all to see.

In July, every penny of my "extra" money will have to be used to pay taxes on my car. (Did you get the emphasis on the word 'every?') Therefore, any social activities in which I choose to engage during the month of July will have to be free of charge.

Who will join me on this quest for no-cost fun???

The Unexpected

2006-06-21T18:19:00.000-04:00

Thanking God for a primo parking space or looking for a demon under every rock are not activities in which I engage. Am I saying it is wrong or foolish to do so? Absolutely not. I just don't have that habit. However, sometimes things happen that make me pause and consider possibilities. Today is one of those days.

This week I have had the arduous task of going through catalogs and online stores in order to find the best deals for the big supply order I have to make for my workplace. Money is nearly non-existent and the thought of having a lower allotment this year as opposed to last year is nothing short of scary. How on earth can we afford everything we are going to need?

At home, I have been working on a rather difficult jigsaw puzzle. It is a grandfather clock that came complete with clockworks & glue so that when the puzzle is completed, we can hang it on the wall and have yet another time piece gracing our house. The problem is the puzzle is larger than the table on which I am working so I have to put it together in sections. What to do with the completed sections? Just this morning I was thinking, "I need a board for these finished pieces so I can just slide them under the couch." Of course, I have no such thing in my possession.

Until today. A salesman came into the office and offered us a couple of free samples. A person doesn't normally get all excited about a large desk calendar but I sure did. The calendar is backed with a nice piece of posterboard. Well, it was. A few moments ago I removed it and will take it home for my completed puzzle sections. And now I will order two fewer desk calendars! The refills are not expensive, but the money can certainly be used elsewhere.

Sometimes, I stop and thank God for the unexpected things.

Wednesday's Reading

2006-06-21T10:42:00.000-04:00

I was a turtle this morning.
Time was my enemy.
I read the Scripture passage for today's devotion,
But did not read the devotion itself.
It did not seem to matter.

"You have eyes--can't you see? You have ears--can't you hear? Don't you remember anything at all? What about the five thousand men I fed with five loaves of bread? How many baskets of leftovers did you pick up afterward?"
"Twelve," they said.
"And when I fed the four thousand with seven loaves, how many large baskets of leftovers did you pick up?"
"Seven," they said.
"Don't you understand even yet?" He asked them. (Mark 8:18-21)

My eyes saw Jesus' words.
And my ears heard.
And my heart finally understood:
He really can take nothing and make something.

From Tuesday's Reading...

2006-06-21T10:15:00.000-04:00

...the word of the LORD came to Abram in a vision:
"Do not be afraid, Abram.
I am your shield,
your very great reward. " (Genesis 15:1b)

The first time I read that little passage, an old praise and worship song popped into my head. It is taken directly from Psalms:

The Lord God is a sun and shield
He gives grace and glory.
No good thing will He withhold
From them who walk uprightly.

It is a really great song! I sat and "couch danced" for a few moments while singing the song in my head & heart. Then, for whatever reason, I went back and read the verse again and had this thought:

He is my exceedingly great reward.

That made me start thinking about rewards. What are we after, really? We really aren't in pursuit of a crown because that will be given to the One who ultimately deserves all crowns. Hm. I guess He is waiting for His reward, too! He has partially entered into it, but He is still waiting for His kingdom. I don't know about anyone else, but at this point I just want rest. For me, the reward will be finally arriving at my ultimate destination - His eternal presence - with no other distractions or hinderances. A couple of days ago I wondered what my goal is. I think that's it. Check out this passage about Moses:

He chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a short time. He regarded disgrace for the sake of Christ as of greater value than the treasures of Egypt, because he was looking ahead to his reward. By faith he left Egypt, not fearing the king's anger; he persevered because he saw him who is invisible. (Heb 11:25-27)

Moses was looking for his reward, too. The thing is, I can't think of anyone who wants to spend their lives sighing and twiddling their thumbs waiting for "apple pie in the sky in the sweet by and by when they die." Abundant life is available to us NOW. We need to live while we are on this earth. Do you really think "be fruitful and multiply" refers only to procreation? I don't. Too much is written about fruit in other contexts. Part of being fruitful is helping others find the abundant life. How to go about that is a bone of contention amongst believers, so I'll avoid the subject here!

Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near. (Heb 10:23-25)

We can encourage each other and assemble outside our church buildings. That is something I highly recommend! Live and enjoy your life. You know what is good for you and what isn't. You know the options available to you, so do not be afraid to seize the day and make the most of your time on earth. We are strangers in a strange land, but God gave the land to us, His children. Personally, I think we can live a full life here and in due time receive our reward, eternal life with Him. The pivot point is...MOTIVE. If we keep our eyes fixed on our prize (reward), our motives will be pure.

Your Best Life Now

2006-06-19T08:52:00.000-04:00

A close friend of mine gave me Joel Osteen's Daily Readings from Your Best Life Now. It is a 90-day devotional book. Today I read the first entry. It never ceases to amaze me how we can hear something over and over - or read something just as often - and it never really hits home until we are ready to understand. Or how about this: You read or hear something and it strikes a chord with you. Time passes and you hear or read it again only to have a different chord struck! God is so cool. That is why He stays interesting and we remain intrigued. If we had all of the answers to life's persistent questions we wouldn't continue to seek Him, would we?

The Scripture passage that goes along with the first devotion in the book is Hebrews 11:8-40. To be honest, I do not know if I got out of it what Mr. Osteen intended. It is more important that I got something tailor-made for me.

By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to the place which he would receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going.

Hm. Well we know Abram's father, Terah, set out for Canaan when he brought his family out of Ur, but he never made it that far. So perhaps Abraham knew at least in which direction to strike out. Somehow, I think that is a minor detail. The fact is, Abraham heard and went. I spend entirely too much time whining about not knowing where to go next in my walk with God. The problem with whining is it makes me stand still rather than move!

When we keep reading we find that Abraham & his ongoing family dwelt in tents in this land of promise.

...for he waited for the city which has foundations, whose builder and maker is God.

So, Abraham never truly saw it, that place of promise. He got there, but didn't really see it in all its glory. Still, he didn't give up like his father Terah did. Abraham believed exactly what God said. To me, this indicates Abraham was a big thinker with a broad perspective. This is almost painfully evident during the time Abraham was asked to sacrifice Isaac. At the end of the passage we read:

And all these, having obtained a good testimony through faith, did not receive the promise, God having provided something better for us, that they should not be made perfect apart from us.

Therefore, the "heroes of faith" worked...built for the culmination of all things. They fully understood what it meant to be part of a body, each one having its own role to play in the grand scheme of things.

I've been talking about it a lot lately; being self-absorbed. I believe there is a balance between "Me, me, me" and "Everyone & everything else." Of course we need time to ourselves - time to do what we like and want to do. Jesus did that, too. But to spend our entire lives focused only on ourselves seems to be such a waste of time and talent.

Recently, people have been telling me things they see in me. I laugh or deny, waving them off or even begging them not to say what they are saying, as many times I have been hearing the same things from totally different sources in completely different locations. Because I am my own worst enemy and an even harder self-critic, I cannot see what people see. Does this mean I am blinded to my own giftings and talents? Should I be listening a little more seriously to those God puts in my path? *sigh* I just don't know. Too many times I have thought I was moving ahead only to be blindsided or stopped in my tracks. It is discouraging, isn't it? I know I am not the only person to have experienced such things.

Osteen writes that often people are reluctant to continue a hard journey because they are satisfied with where they are. They lose their drive to excel, to explore new horizons, to experience vistas they'd never previously imagined possible. They have tasted a bit of success and they think, "This is good enough."

Why do we stop? I know we get tired and we get discouraged, but aren't those earthly, human stumbling blocks? I'm sure Abraham and the other heroes got tired and discouraged, but they didn't stop. What's the difference? I believe it is their broad perspective - the ability to see the bigger picture and the greater good. Osteen continues:

Often we have a goal, but over time we get lazy. Maybe we see a little improvement, but then we get comfortable right where we are. Where we are may not be a bad place, but we know it is not where we're supposed to be....We are not pursuing the excellence that God has placed in our hearts. God has so much more in store!

It is no secret that I have been pretty miserable at work. Yet, there I stay. Why? Because the known, bad as it may be, is easier than the unknown. In my case, staying in my present position is the path of least resistance. It isn't fun, and it isn't easy, but at least I know what to expect...to include a steady paycheck. Osteen encourages us to "Dare to step out of our comfort zone." He goes on to say, "It doesn't take anymore effort to believe and stay filled with faith than it does to develop a negative and defeated attitude." (I may have to disagree with that one....being negative and defeated comes mighty easily to me. But then, that isn't God's best for me, is it?)

The encouragment continues:

You are made for more than good enough. Enlarge your vision! ...You simply need to focus on your goal, set your course, and have the attitude, I'm not going to settle for a little..a bit...a small helping...No, I am going to reach my full potential in God. I am going to start living my best life now!

Hm . . . just what is my goal, anyway?

In his closing prayer, Osteen asks us to pray about trusting God to do more in and through our lives. Yeah, that stuck on me. Trusting God is something that does not come naturally or easily for me. And then I had this thought:

What requires more trust than blind faith in God? Especially when we feel we have been let down by Him. This let-down may have occured indirectly-in the instances where someone might say, "God didn't let you down, people did." Still, we ask the question, "Why did God let people fail me?" The truth of the matter is this: God is Who He says He is. Sovereign. He is active in our lives, whether we see, hear, or feel Him. We really need to get past our "feelings" and move on with what we know is true - that He loves us and has great things in store for our lives. We must give Him control! If nothing else, we need to remember that life is so much better with Him - to include the unknowns and the hurts - than without Him.

Who Are We Trying to Kid?

2006-06-18T17:11:00.000-04:00

Have you ever heard this song?

Draw me, Lord.
Oh draw me, Lord.
Oh draw me, Lord.
And I'll run after You.

We sang that song in church this morning. It is a lovely song, really it is. But the thought that is now the title of this blog entry came to my mind. I find it ironic and maybe even hypocritical that we sing to the Father about longing to be in His presence.

If we look at these lyrics from a logical standpoint - and we all know how logical I can be - (/me dodges lightning strike) they don't make sense. First, God is omnipresent. We cry out to Him because we are hungry for His presence. The truth is He is there, wherever we are. Therefore, if we do not experience His touch we have missed Him. It is that simple.

Secondly, God is constantly drawing us to Himself. For what purpose did He create us? If we already know Him, we can be in His presence. We do not have to whip ourselves into a frenzy to experience God. I distinctly heard Him tell me today that if we are not aware of His presence, we are not listening. God should not have to scream & wave flags to get our attention. He is with us, inside us, around us. He wants our time and attention. Again, if we miss Him, it is our fault. We just aren't listening.

That begged the question: Why are we not listening? Too many times our heads and our hearts work independently of each other. We may think we are seeking Him and listening for Him, but the truth is maybe we are not. As people, we have so many issues that cloud the truth. Stubbornness: God should meet me, I've come this far..He can travel the rest of the distance. Pride: I do not need God's presence in my life in order to be successful. I know Him, He knows me. It is enough. Besides, other people are around and if I truly express myself, they'll start to talk. (Take it from me, friends - people are far too self-absorbed to worry about what you may or may not be doing) Fear: God may reveal something about me or ask me to do something. And the list goes on.

Then there is the part of the lyric that says, "And I'll run after You." That is not necessarily true, either. We want to bask in the warm and loving glow of our heavenly Father, but when it comes to running after Him - doing as He desires and following His lead, too often we fall short. We think we cannot do what He asks. We are afraid. We doubt ourselves and Him.

Sad, isn't it?

Am I saying this song isn't Biblical? Not really. I am simply posing a question: What will it take for us to truly listen?

(to be continued....)

Smile!

2006-06-18T06:54:00.000-04:00

Spoiled Rotten

2006-06-17T08:00:00.000-04:00

During a two hour conversation with Ben last night I was again reminded how spoiled Americans are. Ben has recently returned from a missions trip to Guyana. He shared pictures, audio clips, and memories with me. I wish I could convey what happened to my heart as he did. I would love to post some of his pictures but they are his and I am hoping Ben will post his own blog entry soon.

A long long time ago in a galaxy far far away I had a 'colorful thing' take place in my head. In those days I would often start my mornings on the deck. Coffee, birds, breezes, and prayer. What a way to start the day! One time I was doing that very thing when a sea of faces appeared before my eyes. They seemed Asian to me but what was more important was the hope in their expressions. Their eyes spoke volumes to me. And I loved them. Later, Asmo came to Pitt County and I had the opportunity to teach and tutor 4 Japanese children. And I loved them. I thought that was the fulfillment of the colorful thing. Now I am not so sure.

Before I go further I feel the need to post a disclaimer: My eyes are not blind to the plight of people right here in the United States. And yes, I believe we need to take care of our own first. However, this post is not necessarily about reaching out to the citizens of other countries. Hopefully you will see my purpose as you read.

From the pictures Ben shared, I think anyone would agree with me that the people of Guyana live in what we would consider squalor. The water is dirty, the streets are dirty, and the majority of the buildings are pieced together. But their faces! There is depth in their eyes and much that can be seen in their expressions. And I loved them.

The pictures of their church sanctuaries & of people engaged in worship coupled with audio clips reminded me of what I have often heard: the citizens of countries like Guyana have nothing but their faith. Because of that, their worship is honest, raw, and truly from the heart. As spoiled Americans, we often fall into the realm of the "bless me club." We go to church and give God ... what? Lip service? We read our Bibles and do Him a favor by spending a few minutes in prayer every day? We follow a formula and feel good about ourselves and God. We whine and complain about temporary things - things that the people in poorer countries would jump at the chance to possess for only a moment in time - when there are people who praise Him for their salvation. They really have nothing else for which to praise Him, but should they need any other reasons? Should we?

I considered ending this post with those words: "Should we?" Should we need any other reason to worship Him other than the fact that He is our sovereign God? I do not think I need to answer that question.

When true worship takes place, so does an exchange. We give our worship to Him, and He gives us strength and the tools we need to walk on this earth effectively. If the exchanges happened more often than on a Sunday morning, we would find ourselves infused with things like love, compassion, mercy, honesty, and the desire to serve Him by serving others. Now, sit back and consider what the world.. and what America...would be like if more of us were empowered with those things on a daily basis. Then, share your thoughts with me.

If I am spoiled rotten, I am of no use to anyone. There is nothing nutritional or life giving in what I have to offer. No wonder I keep going through hard time after hard time. I need the constant reminder that without Him, I am nothing. I do not wish to be spoiled anymore.

Twenty Five

2006-06-09T06:22:00.000-04:00

Yesterday one of our fourth grade mothers came in to pick up her daughter early. We had pleasant converation while we waited for the child to come to the office. She told me that they are moving to another city over the summer so the child will go to a different school for the fifth grade. After all of the negative publicity my school has endured lately, it was nice to hear this parent say her daughter had been happy while with us. She had a wonderful teacher and the mother was very impressed wtih the rest of the staff as well.

Then another nice thing happened: The mother could not believe I have two grown children. She shook her head saying no, I looked only 25 myself and there was no way my children were in their twenties. This came from a very young looking woman! She has a perfectly smooth, unlined and unblotched complexion. Her hair is perfect and I never see any stress on her face. Still, it was nice to hear during a difficult day.

It is Friday, people!! <3